All I Want is the Moon Upon a Stick
by Cain
Summary: COMPLETE! A past one-night-stand returns with a vengeance, putting Tawni's whole career at risk. Sonny's heart is at war with her head, not to mention with a certain self-absorbed starlet who refuses to give her a chance. Sonny/Tawni Please Read & Review
1. Do What We Want

**Author's Note:** Hey all! This story takes place after 'New Girl', so there may be spoilers at various points by way of reference. It is femslash, so if you can't handle that, don't read it. I'm always eager for reviews, so please R&R! It most definitely encourages updating. This chapter is a bit slow, mostly because it's the beginning. Think of it as a Preface, really. I'm trying to set the stage, give some backstory, etc. It's a bit messy because I don't bother editing much when it comes to fanfic, honestly, and it's been awhile since I've written. This is only the start of a larger story. I don't do one-shots. Hope you enjoy! Oh, and the title and all the chapter titles come from the Radiohead song "Lotus Flower" (though, in case anyone is curious, the lyrics are not used in order). Also, I obviously don't own the show or any of the characters. Or anything, really.

This story will be rated T for potential language, sexual situations, etc. I don't do graphic sex, so I'm not calling it M. But there is sex and it's totes gay, kiddos!

**All I Want Is the Moon Upon a Stick**

**Chapter One: Do What We Want  
**

It had been over a month since her breakup with Chad Dylan Cooper, following the Teen Choice Awards. She'd gotten it out of her system, more or less, in a song—although in all honesty, the song had been more about herself than him, a monologue in her head paired with a melody, a few lines thrown in here and there for the sake of the song, with very little truth behind them. She didn't care about 'what to do' with Chad. He'd been a publicity stunt, really—a fact that she was semi-ashamed of. Using people was never OK with her, but her mother coaxed her into it, saying it would help with certain rumors that had apparently sprung up about her. She was confused about what to do with herself. Things weren't getting any easier as time went on. She was crammed in between the proverbial rock and the proverbial hard place.

She sighed and leaned back on the prop house sofa. When she had moved from West Appleton, Wisconsin to Hollywood, her first thought, unshared with anyone else, had been that she could be herself in Hollywood. It was a big city, people had more open minds. It wasn't a small town where everyone knew everyone and rumors spread like a wildfire—ok, well, the rumors still spread pretty fast, but it wasn't the same. In West Appleton, if it got out that she was queer, she'd have lost almost everything. She'd have been called a sinner and a whore and dyke. Sure, people in Hollywood might throw those terms around, but SoCal is a liberal kind of place, right?

Wrong. Her mother made it very clear to her when the call from Marshall Pike came, inviting her to join the cast of her favorite TV show, that she couldn't tell anyone. It wasn't that her mother was ashamed, quite the opposite. Connie Munroe was entirely supportive—but the rest of the world was not and if Sonny wanted to make a name for herself than she was going to have to keep details like that a secret. Those details would cost her fans, it would cost her roles, potentially. Maybe someday, when she had established herself, she could be open. But she was a nobody as far as Hollywood was concerned and if she wanted a shot, she had to fit the mold and be easy to relate to for teenagers. Straight teenagers, anyway. Condor Studios and other networks that targeted kids were not interested in incurring the wrath of parents by representing queer kids. Kid TV was heterosexual, through and through. It didn't matter that there were gay 14 year-olds and 10 year-olds and 8 year-olds out there who needed a role model that actually represented them, homosexuality was an adult theme. Gay kids simply didn't exist in kids' television. It was all about following your dreams and being true to yourself… but only to a point. Not all dreams deserved to be followed, or even mentioned. And being true to yourself was only acceptable when you were who they wanted you to be.

The phone rang, or rather, mooed, snapping Sonny out of her sad revelry. "Hello?"

"Hey, Sonny," Lucy's voice came through the phone. Sonny's closest friend, her girlfriend, actually, though that was known to no one, not even Sonny's mother, was in town visiting.

"Hey," Sonny perked up. "Where are you? It's almost ten. I have a curfew, you know."

"I know, I know, I got sidetracked," Lucy explained. "You'll never guess who I saw at Baskin Robbins!"

Sonny smiled to herself as Lucy began rambling off her story about her Ashley Tisdale sighting. Lucy was easily starstruck. The first time she met Tawni and Chad, she almost fainted. Still, it seemed that she was getting sidetracked an awful lot these last couple days. The majority of their relationship existed online since they didn't start dating until after Sonny moved to Hollywood. There had been some fooling around back in West Appleton, and they obviously liked each other, but it didn't become official until the night following Chad's birthday party the first time Lucy visited Sonny. Sonny had been extremely jealous of others spending time with Lucy and her friend had made it up to her later that night in ways she never would have suspected. She had visited a couple times since, and they hadn't been able to keep their hands off each other. But this time, it was different. Lucy was getting increasingly distracted with things, it was as if she was always trying to find something to do other than be with her. Sonny couldn't bring herself to feel too hurt by this fact though. She had been faithful to Lucy, of course, but her eyes wandered quite a bit. Hollywood was full of beautiful women, after all. She even shared a dressing room with one of them.

"And she even looked right at me and smiled! I almost died!"

Sonny forced a laugh. "That's great!"

"Isn't it? Anyway, I should be back in about fifteen minutes and then we can go home."

She hung up. She reached for the remote when she heard a crashing sound, followed by giggling. She rose and headed toward the hallway. She heard footsteps, running away from her, and when she reached the doorway, all she found was Tawni, hair disheveled, buttoning up her shirt and closing the door to the supply closet.

Sonny grinned, crossing her arms. Since joining So Random she had caught Tawni in similar situations a hundred times—although somehow, she never managed to see the guy. Tawni knew how to keep things secret and still get her rocks off. Sonny always found her afterwards, the guy, no doubt thrilled with himself for nailing Tawni Hart (no matter how east a feat that may be), never anywhere to be seen. And Tawni never gave up a name. The only thing Sonny knew was that, supposedly, it wasn't one guy. Initially, Sonny had suspected a secret boyfriend, but Tawni shot that down quick. She didn't have time to bother with a boyfriend. She just wanted to have a little fun and took advantage when that opportunity presented itself, no matter who with. A little slutty for Sonny's taste, but somehow it made sense for Tawni.

"Waiting for Lucy?" Tawni asked, walking past Sonny and into the prop house.

"Yeah, she ran into Ashley Tisdale getting ice cream and stalked her for an hour, apparently."

"Uh huh," Tawni nodded, opening the fridge and grabbing a bottled water. "Sounds to me like someone's getting lucky."

Sonny frowned. "No, trust me, that's not it." Even she didn't believe the words as they left her lips.

She shook her head, not wanting to think about it. In need of a subject change, she decided to tell Tawni some news guaranteed to peak the aloof blonde's interest. "You know, I got an offer to be on another show."

"What show?" Tawni asked, clearly trying to sound disinterested and failing entirely.

"Oh, a sitcom. For ABC. They're offering me a lot more money and I'd be on primetime."

"Primetime? _You_? How on earth would _you_, of all people, get an offer-"

"I don't know if I should take it though," Sonny interrupted her. "It would mean breaking my contract with Condor Studios and I know I could manage it, but I would feel bad, you know?"

"No, I don't know. Why would you stay on a kids network when you could go on to primetime television? Not that I care, or think you deserve it, but apparently ABC is desperate and didn't think they would get me, so they went for you. Which is a good choice on their part, because I'd turn them down flat."

"You would? But you just said-"

"If they'd come to me first, I'd have gone with them, but knowing that they went to you first? Instead of me? Tawni Hart? Hell no!"

"But it's still a shot at primetime," Sonny shrugged. "I don't know though."

"You don't want to go, I can tell," Tawny took a seat beside her on the couch.

"No, I haven't decided."

"Yes, you have, your answer is no."

"I think _you_ don't want me to go."

"What? Why would I care? I never wanted you here in the first place," Tawni scoffed.

Sonny rolled her eyes. "You really are never going to let go of that, are you?"

"Of course I'm over it, Tawni Hart doesn't get stuck on things, I'm above that."

"Uh huh," Sonny replied sarcastically. "Why don't you want me to go then?"

"I never said I didn't."

"You're insisting that I want to stay, even though I never said that."

"So?"

"Hey Tawni!" Lucy squealed as she entered. "I can't believe I've been here for four days and haven't seen you yet!" She threw her arms around Tawni.

"Neither can I," Tawni replied, doing her best to sound excited. She had been deliberately avoiding the studio except for rehearsal precisely because Sonny's friend was around. They had fun the first time she came, and then she just got increasingly clingy and more irritating with each subsequent visit. Although Tawni couldn't help but notice that she'd grown up a fair amount since the last time. She was much prettier, even if still every bit as annoying. She could work with that.

"It's getting late," Sonny said, getting up. "My mom has texted me ten times already."

Tawni smirked. "It's a Friday night."

"Are you going out? Is there a party?" Lucy could hardly contain her excitement. Sonny couldn't hide her disappointment.

Tawni shook her head, somewhat sympathetic to Sonny's feelings, even if she rarely showed it. "I've got a date, actually." There was a new Mac Falls actress who was most definitely worth a try.

"Oh, well, alright. Sonny and I have plans of our own anyway," Lucy shrugged.

"Of course," Tawni nodded and turned to leave.

When the blonde was out of sight, Sonny slipped her arm around Lucy's waste. "Let's go home."


	2. Wings Take Root

**Chapter Two: Wings Take Root**

Lucy was gone when Sonny woke up, already out on the town. She always was a morning person, but she used to hang around and wait for Sonny. Or at least wake her up by being obnoxiously loud and trying to pretend it was unintentional.

Sonny climbed out of bed and pulled on her pants. Thinking a cup of coffee would help her clear her head, organize her thoughts a bit, she made her way into the kitchen, where she was surprised to find none other than her ex-boyfriend, Chad Dylan Cooper.

"Morning Shortstack," he greeted her as she entered the room.

"Chad, what are you doing here?"

"I made you breakfast," he gestured toward the table, where two entwined roses sat in a vase.

"Why do you keep doing this?" Sonny groaned, filling her coffee cup.

"Because I think we deserve another chance. I can be better. I can-"

"I'm flattered Chad, really, but no." Why was it so easy for her to dump him and so impossible for her to break it off with Lucy? It was obviously not working between them, and considering Lucy lived two-thousand miles away most of the time, it was probably a dumb relationship to attempt in the first place. But then, it's not like she could run the risk of dating someone locally.

"Sonny, I miss you," Chad continued, unaware that Sonny wasn't really listening. She wasn't attracted to him, after all, and never really had been. She liked him, for the most part, as a friend and he could be sweet when he wanted to be, but there was just no attraction there. Hell, they had dated for months before even kissing. She had started dating him in the midst of her relationship with Lucy. Maybe Lucy was more upset about that than she had let on? Maybe that's why she's drifted away so much. She understood Sonny's logic in dating Chad and had said she thought it was a great idea, but maybe she didn't really feel that way.

"Earth to Sonny?"

"Huh? Oh, sorry."

"See, you're totally depressed without me. You aren't the bubbly, happy Sonny everyone is used to. And be honest, it's because you miss me."

She sighed. "Chad, we're over. Accept it. Move on. There are plenty of other girls out there. I'm over it and I'm not depressed. I just have a lot on my mind at the moment."

"Like your sweet sugar Chaddy?"

"No, more like changing my locks so you can't get in so easily."

"I kicked the door in once, I can do it again."

"Well, please don't."

A knock at the door prevented Chad from arguing further and Sonny opened it to find Nico. He had offered to give her a ride to the studio with his new wheels—he had been offering everyone rides, right and left, since he was convinced his status had instantly skyrocketed when the keys first landed in his hand. However, Sonny had been the only one to take him up on the offer. Grady had even found a way out of it, informing Sonny and Tawni that Nico was an insane driver. This was after Sonny had agreed, of course, and she didn't have the heart to reject him now.

"Chad, what are you doing here?" Nico glared at him as he entered.

"Trying to win back m'lady, why are _you_ here?"

"I'm giving m'friend a ride to work."

"He was actually invited here," Sonny said. "Just give me a minute, Nico. Later, Chad." She disappeared into her room to change. She would have to shower on set.

* * *

Sonny staggered into the prop house, still struggling to regain her land-legs after Nico's downright psychotic driving. Her messy hair and eyes wide with terror were met with Grady's knowing grin. "I warned you," he said, patting her on the back before heading out to meet his friend.

She pulled a water bottle out of the fridge, along with a brick of Wisconsin cheddar—something she always munched on when stressed—and after several deep breaths, the panic-induced nausea and terror faded away.

Zora popped out of her sarcophagus and greeted Sonny with a tip of a top hat and trotted out of the room. Whether it was for a character, or just Zora's flavor of the day, Sonny had no way of knowing. She didn't have much time to think about it either, before hearing a familiar, distinct laugh—that tinkling, feminine sound could only come from one person. Tawni Hart. Putting her cheese and water back in the fridge, Sonny followed the sound back out into the hallway.

Tawni was talking with Nico, whose hands were shoved firmly in his coat pockets so he could hold it shut in a way that might have looked innocent enough to anyone else, but Sonny knew him well enough to kno that he was totally hiding a hard-on. Not that Sonny blamed him. Tawni was wearing a _very_ tight fitting strapless blue dress, the hem hovering about halfway up her thigh. It was for a Miss America-esque sketch they would be rehearsing later. Tawni was clearly enjoying the effect she was having on Nico, and entirely unaware of the effect she was having on Sonny.

Of course, given the sheer number of times Sonny had spied on the blonde casually in the reflections of the mirrors in their changing room, or during the quick changes when they filmed live, or through the red curtains to Tawni's wardrobe, which the blonde never seemed to concerned about shutting all the way, Sonny almost found it amusing that Tawni hadn't caught on to her. Tawni was always very aware of other people if they were paying attention to her, after all.

"Sonny!" Lucy called, appearing from behind and giving her a quick hug.

Both Tawni and a reluctant and blushing Nico turned toward the sound.

"Whoa," Lucy mumbled, giving Sonny a knowing nudge with her elbow when she saw Tawni.

"Yeah," Sonny nodded, half-smiling, half entirely unsure of how she should feel.

"Marshall wants us on stage four in fifteen minutes Sonny," Tawni called. "There's a red dress for you in our room."

Sonny nodded and left.

Tawni turned back to Nico. "You might want to go, uh, relieve yourself, before rehearsal."

Humiliated, Nico turned and darted the opposite direction, toward the bathroom.

Tawni approached Lucy slowly, that certain confidence in her step, stopping just inches from the other girl. "Lulu. We need to spend some time together, sweetie. You're only here a few more days, right?" She slipped her arm around Lucy's shoulder.

"Yeah, we do," Lucy nodded eagerly.

With a devilish grin, Tawni pulled her into the prop house, into the photo booth.

* * *

Sonny stared at herself in the mirror. "Not bad." She smirked. The wardrobe people were always good at selecting flattering dresses for them and this was a definite success. It hugged her curves nicely and the red contrasted with her dark hair. She wasn't sure if she would go so far as to say she looked as good as Tawni, but then, she had always been humble and couldn't possibly look at herself objectively the way she could others. Not that she was entirely objective when it came to Tawni…

But at the very least, maybe it would intrigue Lucy. Sonny wasn't certain she cared that much, but she found herself making her way to the prop house, assuming Lucy would still be there, so she could get her girlfriend's two cents on how hot she looked before going to rehearsal. Little ego boosts like that always helped when she had to work with Tawni in sketches like this one, since Tawni certainly wasn't one to give out compliments freely, only ready to accept them.

She entered the prop house, glancing around for Lucy and not finding her. She turned to leave when another familiar giggle made her stop in her tracks. She turned back and walked slowly over to the photo booth. She hesitated a moment, not sure she really wanted to see, before jerking the curtain aside.

"Sonny!" Lucy exclaimed, grabbing her shirt from the photo booth floor and nearly jumping out of the booth.

Sonny stood, mouth agape, glancing back and forth between Lucy's alarmed expression and Tawni's accomplished grin.

In spite of her better efforts, tears burned the back of her eyes, and Sonny turned and ran from the room. Lucy sprinted after her, struggling to pull her shirt back on as she went.

Tawni rose from the floor of the photo booth and smoothed out her dress. She swiftly reapplied her Coco Mocho Coco and puckered her lips—they were a point of pride with her and she always took the best care of them. She was surprisingly cavalier about the whole thing, considering Sonny was the first person to have ever found her out, but then, she didn't expect Sonny to run and out her to the media, even if she was obviously upset with her screwing her best friend. Sonny was too nice to exact a cruel revenge on anyone, especially not Tawni. At least, that was the conclusion Tawni reached in light of all those times she caught Sonny eying her in the mirror or through her curtains, practically drooling.

Smiling to herself, Tawni headed out of the prop house and toward the rehearsal stage.


	3. Cut Me Up

**A/N:** Well, this is discouraging. I know I have several readers based on the visitor count, and yet none of you feel inclined to leave reviews with suggestions (whether writing or plot oriented, it's all welcome) or criticism or compliments or anything at all. All opinions are welcome except "eww thar lesbos" and "but whut about CHANNY", since those people are dumb for even reading past the summary. Anyway, I'm going to implement my 3 review policy then. I have the whole fic outlined and the first few chapters are already written, but I won't post updates without at least 3 new reviews. Sorry guys, but really, if I'm not getting any feedback, why should I bother?

**Chapter Three: Cut Me Up**

Lucy waited impatiently on Sonny's couch. She had lost her back at the studio and hadn't been able to find her all day. It was nearly seven by the time Sonny showed up, with her mother.

"Lucy," Connie Munroe greeted her coldly. So she knew.

"I-" Lucy started, only to be cut off by Sonny.

"How _could_ you?"

"How could you not?" Lucy snapped back.

"What?"

"Back in West Appleton, you never missed an episode of So Random! Not because you thought it was hilarious, because you thought Tawni Hart was so unbelievably hot. We used to look at pictures of her in magazines and talk about-"

"What does this have to do with you sleeping with her?"

"You have had over a year to screw her and you haven't! And don't think it's because you're so 'in the closet', you're more obvious than I am and she came onto me hard. If she could tell I was, she has to know you are."

"What both of you fail to realize is how dangerous all of this is," Connie interjected. "Sonny, I've been over this with you before. You have to wait. Now just isn't the time to be messing around with other girls. Not if you want to have a career and make this whole move worthwhile."

Not interested in her mother's opinion at the moment, Sonny ignored her and continued with Lucy. "I think you should leave. I'll pay for your ticket home, first flight back to Wisconsin. Or you can stay at a hotel for the rest of the week. It's your call."

"Sonny, come on," Lucy pleaded. "It's not like I cheated on you."

"Um, yes it is? That's exactly what you did."

"Well, what if she sleeps with you too? Then we'll be even."

"Lucy, this is ridiculous. Just get out."

"You're just jealous."

Seeing how upset the whole conversation was making her daughter, Connie intervened. "I already called a cab for you Lucy, he'll be here in about fifteen minutes. Please, leave."

"But-"

"No buts," Connie shook her head and held the door open. "I'll bring your things down in a minute."

Lucy sighed, defeated and left.

As soon as Connie shut the door behind her, Sonny dropped down on the couch, letting the tears fall freely at last.

Connie took a seat beside her daughter. "Honey, it'll be OK. What Lucy did was-"

"I hate this," Sonny said, her voice barely above a whisper. "Lucy was safe because she was from home. She wouldn't out me and I could still be with someone I was actually interested in. But I can't be with her, not really. Our relationship only worked when we were apart. It's not like I was in love with her. "

"Sonny, listen," Connie tried.

"No, mom, this isn't working. I can't—you wanted me to date Chad because of the rumors about me and Selena Gomez, which were totally ridiculous anyway. So I did. And it was awful, you know why? Because not only was I lying to him and forcing myself to be something I'm not, but I hurt him. Not to mention, it was useless because people still had their speculations about me after the whole world learned that Chad and I took so long to kiss. I mean, I have to be gay, waiting to kiss Chad Dylan Cooper, right? But that doesn't matter, because Chad is a friend and I hurt him—he deserved to get dumped after what he did, but still. You know, he's _still_ trying to get back together. Lucy was the only person I could trust with this and now…I mean, I don't… she's right, I am jealous of her sleeping with Tawni. I didn't even know Tawni was gay. I'm more angry that she slept _with Tawni_ than I am that she cheated in general."

"Well, whatever the deal with Tawni is, don't you dare get involved with her. She drives you nuts half the time anyway- I don't know why you always go to such great lengths to keep her happy."

"I don't go to-"

"Oh, yes you do," Connie cut her off. "I knew you were crushing on her the first day on set and my only consolation was the assumption that she was straight, but now..." she shook her head. "You're a whipped dog for her 90% of the time even when you're 'just friends'."

"I am not!"

"Really Sonny? _Really_?"

"Don't do that. It's wrong," Sonny shuddered.

"You took her in and waited on her hand and foot when she fired her mother," Connie recalled.

"Because I felt responsible!"

"You traveled all the way to that blogger's house to confront her about insulting Tawni's hair. You tried to cheat on a math test because Tawni wanted you to. You played Cyrano for her when she tried to date that guy. You-"

"Alright, I get it. But you know I share a dressing room with her and have to work with her on a regular basis. I figure it's better to compromise than make waves all the time."

"Uh huh," Connie nodded, unconvinced.

"What?"

"Well, I just find it interesting that all the things that annoyed you most about Chad are things you just accept and tolerate in Tawni."

"I was never interested in Chad, you know that, so what does that matter?"

"Because you still wanted reasonable excuses to break up with him, and you always found them. How many times did you dump the poor guy?"

"Mom-"

"He's self-centered and egotistical and puts himself first in every situation, and I know you, I know those are things that genuinely bother you. If Chad was a girl, you'd have dumped him still. But Tawni is just as self-centered and egotistical and yet with her you put in so much more effort into making things work."

Sonny didn't reply. It hadn't actually occurred to her before, but her mother was right- Tawni and Chad were extremely similar. But they weren't the same. Both full of themselves, yes, and both prone to occasional acts of kindness. Both overreacted when Sonny beat them in something- him with his recount and her with her bald cap. But then, she had dated Chad for months before he betrayed her, whereas she'd only known Tawni a short while when Sharona had driven the blonde to wear a bald cap. And when Penelope had framed Sonny for all those awful things, Chad had bailed on her almost instantly, while Tawni was the only one who stood by her the whole time, without hesitation. Why?

Her mother's voice interrupted her contemplations again. "Besides, if you two started dating someone at work is bound to find you out and then-"

"I know, I know," Sonny sighed, leaning back on the couch. "Although if what Lucy said is true, than I doubt I have anything to worry about 'cause Tawni is obviously not into me." With that, she rose from the couch and headed toward the bathroom. "I'm going to take a shower."

Connie nodded, rising herself to go pack Lucy's things. "Lucy _and_ Tawni…" she mumbled to herself. "Isn't anyone straight anymore?"

* * *

Tawni was gazing admiringly at herself in the mirror when there cam e a knock at the door. "Come in."

She didn't take her eyes from her reflection when the person opened the door and entered the room.

"Hello Tawni."

At that, Tawni turned her head, confused and shocked to see Penelope, former leading actress of Mackenzie Falls—until she had been hauled away by police for attempted murder.

"Shouldn't you be in jail or something?" Tawni asked, getting to her feet.

"I had a good lawyer. They called it insanity and checked me into hospital for a few months. It's all better now."

"Um…"

"Except for the simple fact that Chad still isn't mine."

"Well, he and Sonny broke up, so no need to try and off her this time around."

"He's still hung up on her and won't give me the time of day," she quipped. "Besides, I'm not supposed to come within five-hundred feet of Condor Studios."

"So why are you taking that risk to talk to me?"

"Because I need money."

"What? And why do you think I'll-"

"My lawyers cost me a fortune, my family disowned me."

"For trying to be a psycho killer? Shocking."

"I'm living at a freakin' mission, Tawni!"

"Why would I loan you money?"

"I'm not asking for a loan. I'm asking for a ransom."

"What? Of who?"

"This DVD," Penelope pulled a disc out of her purse. "You remember that time on the Mackenzie Falls set, after hours?"

Tawni's eyes widened.

"My career is already dead anyway. And I'm not a dyke, obviously I'm in love with Chad, I was just curious. But I always plan ahead and the minute we met I knew you could be useful to me. Except you're vain and selfish and don't help other people unless there's a direct benefit for you. So I figured what the hell, I could satisfy my curiosity and get some blackmail saved for later all in one fell swoop. And I know that if I need something from you, Tawni, I've got to strike at your heart—your image."

"Penelope, do you really think people are going to believe you when you say you were "just curious"? Even if that's the truth, which I believe based on how bad a lay you were, the public aren't going to buy that."

"Who cares? Like I said, my career is dead anyway! I want five million dollars and I'll destroy the tape. If you don't pay, I'll sell it to the media. Either way, I'm rich, I'm just giving you an opportunity to save face."

"Five million? Are you crazy?"

"You get fifty grand for every episode of So Random. You're the highest paid cast member. And you've been on the show for six seasons. Twenty-two episodes a season is 1.1 million dollars. I can do my math. I know you have the money. You might have six cars and seven hundred pairs of shoes, but you still have enough to pay me off, I know it. If you don't, your parents have enough to make up the difference."

This is insane."

"Yeah, well, that's what the 'jury of my peers' called me too," Penelope smiled. "I'll give you a couple days to think about it. But let me know by Thursday night. 9 o'clock in your prop house."


	4. Darkness is Beneath

**A/N:** I know this totally undercuts my threat of not updating without at least 3 new reviews, but I couldn't help myself. In general, the rule still applies though. I allow anonymous reviews, guys, so whoever you are, you don't even have to bother logging in to leave a brief comment. I'll never know what to improve without feedback.

**Chapter Four: Darkness Is Beneath**

Tawni sat in her driveway in her black BMW—her favorite car, at least this week. In less than twenty-four hours, she would need to meet with Penelope and agree to the nutcase's terms or suffer potentially humiliating consequences. Five-million dollars. Tawni had it, sure, but barely. And her parents had access to her account, too. Her mother worked as her manager and her father handled all of the family's bills and business expenses. He monitored their accounts very closely. There was no way to do this without including them.

She had made an effort to go to the police herself, but had been followed by paparazzi the entire way and so never ended up making it into the building. If she had, she would have to deal with a press storm of people asking why she was at the station, had she committed a crime? Was she a victim? And while Tawni normally welcomed the paparazzi, as being the absolute center of the universe was her divinely designated modus oprendi, this was one circumstance where she knew her private life had to stay private.

Taking a deep breath, she finally got out of the car and made her way up to the front door. Tawni often didn't come home until late at night, but Wednesday was the day she was always expected to have dinner with her parents.

"Tawni!" Her mother greeted her with her normal exuberance , air-kissing her daughter on both cheeks. "You're late!"

Tawni smiled and entered the house. "Traffic was bad."

An hour later the family of three were sitting around an unnecessarily large table, her parents at either end and Tawni sitting in the middle on one side, three chairs separating her from each parent.

"You're awful quiet tonight, sweetheart," her father observed. Tawni and her mother normally gabbed on and on about an assortment of trivial things while he sat quietly, but this evening, Tammy was chattering away solo. "Something wrong?" He glanced over at his wife. "You didn't fire your mother again, did you?"

"No," Tawni replied with a smirk. "I just… there's sort of a situation."

"What do you mean?" Tammy asked. "Don't tell me Condor ran out of Coco Moco Coco _again_… I swear, it's not like we ask for much from them, but-"

"No, it's not that," Tawni interrupted. "Someone has some… " she hesitated, her mind racing for any way not to have this conversation, but ultimately not finding another course. "There's a DVD with some footage of me in…a compromising position."

"A sex tape?" Her father exclaimed, his eyes wide.

"Now Tom, I'm sure that's not what she means," Tammy told him, looking to her daughter for further reassurance.

Tawni stared down at her hands. "Yes...there's a sex tape. Someone I was with about six months ago filmed us and…"

"No, that's not possible!" Tammy squealed.

"Why on earth would you agree to be filmed?" Her father asked angrily.

"I didn't!" Tawni snapped, offended that he would even consider that.

"So they filmed you without telling you?"

"Yeah," Tawni nodded, her eyes tearing up a bit in a combination of humiliation and fear. "I had no idea there was a camera."

"Normally you're always aware of cameras," Tammy muttered.

"What do they want?" Her father asked, his voice low.

"Huh?"

"Well, this tape or whatever hasn't been released already, right? They're blackmailing you, aren't they? That's the situation?"

"Yeah," Tawni nodded. "Five million dollars."

"Five million?" He yelled, jumping to his feet. "There's no way!"

"She works for a kids show, Tom!" Tammy responded, raising her voice. "She could get fired for something like this if it gets out."

"Even if we pay, how do we know they won't ask for more later?"

"She said she'll destroy the tape," Tawni interrupted.

"How do you know she doesn't have a copy?" Tammy asked.

"_She_?" Her father's eyes narrowed. "I thought you said the person you were with was the one who filmed you?"

Tawni didn't say anything.

"You were with another girl?" Tom's eyes were dark.

"Is it that Sonny girl?" Tammy asked. "I always got a vibe from her. You should have told me if she was pressuring you into anything—they'll do that, you know, the gays."

"No," Tawni shook her head, annoyed at her mother's logic. "Sonny wouldn't do something like this."

"Tawni-"

"It was just a girl. She used to work on Mackenzie Falls."

"Why? You were curious? Why is it kids these days have to try everything out before they can behave like normal human beings?"

"I'm gay," Tawni said, barely audible.

"What?"

She cleared her throat. "I'm gay. I wasn't curious or experimenting. I've been with a lot of girls. I'm gay. I've always been gay."

"No you aren't," Tammy shook her head. "You're just confused."

"Please don't start with that-"

"Let me get this straight, there's a gay sex tape of you out there and the pervert you slept with wants five million dollars not to release it? Am I clear?"

"Yes."

"I can't believe this," Tom slouched back in his chair.

Tammy was still shaking her head. "There has to be a mistake. There's just no way this is all-"

"Harts aren't queer," Tom growled.

"Uncle Charlie is," Tawni replied.

"Charlie isn't a part of this family anymore," her father responded.

Tawni bit her lip. "I just need the withdrawal limit lifted. It's my money anyway."

"No, it's not. You're a minor."

"I'm almost eighteen," she retorted.

"But not quite," he shook his head. "I'm not giving you money for _this_. You need to know what you did was wrong."

"You would give me money if I was with a guy," Tawni argued.

"That's different," he remarked, moving to leave the room.

Tawni rose from her seat and rushed over to her father, putting herself between him and the door way. "Daddy, please, this could ruin everything."

"You should have thought about that first, get out of my way."

Tawni looked pleadingly over at her mother, who avoided eye contact.

"You can't do this to me!"

"Get out of my way," Tom grabbed her by the arm and shoved her aside.

"Dad," she called after him, following him down the hall. "Listen, you don't understand-"

He whirled around at that, his face red. "_I_ don't understand? I'm not the one who screwed up here, Tawni. I'm not the one who's confused. You are. And you know what? I don't want to see you around this house until you get things, you know, _straightened_ out. Is that clear?"

"That's not fair!" Tawni yelled back at him.

"Get out!"

She stared at him intently, tears streaking her cheeks. "Homophobic prick."

His eyes flared up and his fist thrust forward, slamming into Tawni's left eye and knocking her to the ground. "Get your things and get the fuck out of my house."

* * *

Sonny sat on the couch, replacing a few guitar strings. She had called in sick the past two days, promising Marshall that she'd have a Sicky Vicky sketch ready on show night to make up for it. She hadn't gotten her head around how to face Tawni after what had happened with Lucy.

Just then, there came a knock at the door. Assuming it was Lucy, who had moved to a hotel down the street and yet came by at least twice a day to try and apologize, Sonny ignored it. Her mother wouldn't be home from work for another hour, and would've let herself in anyway, so as far as Sonny was concerned, there was no need to answer whoever it was.

They banged on the door again, louder.

Sonny ignored it still.

Then her phone mooed. She glanced at it: Tawni. She didn't answer. A couple seconds later, she received a text: "i know u r in there. open the door"

"Go away, Tawni," Sonny yelled toward the door.

"I need to talk to you," Tawni called.

"It's not a good ti-"

"Sonny, please!" Tawni's voice cracked a bit, startling Sonny. Though the door muffled it somewhat, the blonde's voice was pleading- and not in that typical Tawni whiny-plead, but a plea of sincere distress.

Sonny rose and padded over to the door, opening it with a frustrated sigh. Her jaw dropped at the sight of the bluish bruise forming around Tawni's eye and for a moment her own anger at the blonde evaporated. "Oh my gosh, what happened?"

Tawni shoved her way past and sat down on the couch in a huff.

Sonny closed the door and followed. "Tawni?"

"I'm sorry about Lucy, alright? I didn't think you'd care that much."

"That you slept with my girlfriend?"

"_Girlfriend_?" Tawni asked, seeming genuinely innocent. "I thought you two were just friends."

Sonny shook her head, surprised that Tawni hadn't known. She'd assumed Lucy would've said something. "You didn't know I was-?"

"No, I knew that, I just didn't think you two were a couple," Tawni shrugged. "You're too obvious. You're always drooling over me in the dressing room. I'm surprised there are people who _don't_ know. You might as well run around wrapped in a rainbow flag."

"Why do people keep saying that? I'm not _that_-"

"Whatever, I have a bigger problem," Tawni cut her off, turning away.

Sonny waited patiently.

"Penelope is back," She started.

"And she hit you?" Sonny asked, not entirely surprised since the psycho had tried to blow her up.

"No, just listen, ok?"

"Alright, I'm listening."

"A few months ago, I slept with Penelope…"

"WHAT?"

Tawni shot her an icy glare.

"Sorry. Listening."

"I slept with her and, apparently, she taped it."

Sonny's eyes widened, but she kept her mouth shut.

"Now she wants five million dollars to destroy the tape or she'll sell it to some sleazy news outlet. My parents won't give me the money. They-" her voice cracked again. "They kicked me out. My dad, he…he punched me in the face and told me to get out of his house. And I don't know what to do now because… I could lose my job over this. I don't… I need to get that tape back."

"She probably has more than one copy," Sonny mused. "Even if she gave you one-"

"Well, what am I supposed to do, Sonny?"

"I don't know," Sonny responded quietly. "You can stay here, though, for now. Let me get you some ice for that."

A few minutes later, Sonny returned with an ice pack and a cup of tea.

"So, your parents…they didn't know?"

"No, no one knows. Except all the girls, obviously. And now you. And Chad…"

"Chad knows?" Sonny was unable to hide her disbelief

"Chad's known me for a long time, since we were little kids," she shrugged, throwing a curious glance at Sonny. "We know more about each other than we usually let on."

Sonny raised a questioning eyebrow.

"I date a lot of guys, very publicly, so most people think I'm mega boy-crazy. I'm not. I'm girl-crazy. I could pass some leftovers on to you, if you want. Maybe help you get over Lucy. You can do better than her, I think, if you're really going to do the whole girlfriend thing."

"What do you mean?"

"Girlfriends are clingy and needy, I don't do that. I have my own needs to worry about. But most girls want commitment and all that jazz, so I could give you some numbers."

"Of your _leftovers_?"

"Hey, they're girls you might not otherwise have a chance in hell with."

"Gee, thanks."

"Anytime."

Sonny hesitated a moment. "If you're queer and you knew I was too, why didn't you tell me?"

"Because you're practically in love with me—that's probably why I didn't pick up that you and Lucy were a couple, because I'm usually pretty good at that sort of thing. If you knew about me- and, for the record, your gaydar is, like, the worst _ever_, so you would only have found out if I told you or if you caught me—which I'm still surprised you did. I've never been caught before. Anyway, you're totally the clingy girlfriend type of girl. I'd fuck you, but that's it. And then you'd want more—they always want more, and I can't blame them, I mean, I'm pretty damn hot, right? Besides, I was angry at you for coming on the show at all. And when I stopped being mad at you for that, we'd become friends. You don't sleep with friends."

Sonny sat there, mouth agape, entirely unsure how to respond to that, but luckily, she didn't have to. Connie entered the room right then, a pizza in hand. "Hey Tawni, didn't expect to see you here…"


	5. Bird That's Flown Into My Room

**Chapter Five: Bird That's Flown Into My Room**

"How long is she staying here?" Connie asked, cornering her daughter in the kitchen. Out in the living room, Tawni was asleep on the couch.

"I don't know, her parents kicked her out," Sonny shrugged. "Her dad _hit _her! She shouldn't ever go back there."

"Sonny," Connie shook her head. "It's not that simple. So they need a little educating, maybe. They're freaked out. You think your father and I were thrilled when you told us?"

"No, but you didn't clock me."

"I'm going to call Tammy and see if I can talk some sense into her. I mean, you told your father and I during a Family Meeting. Tawni's parents probably walked in on her with some girl—am I right?"

"No, she told them over dinner."

"Why?" Connie asked, then adding: "Not that there's anything wrong with it—but I assume something must have prompted her to tell them _now_, when she's been fooling around with God knows how many girls for months at least."

"Years," Sonny mumbled.

"Well, she's only seventeen."

"She was thirteen her first time."

"Thirteen? That's way too young!" Connie declared, eyeing her daughter suspiciously. "You and Lucy. When did… I mean, have you ever?"

"Mom!" Sonny's cheeks were burning.

"I'm not judging you! I was a teenager once too, you know."

Sonny looked away. "The first time was about a week before I got the call to be on So Random. I was fifteen."

"With Lucy?"

"Yes, she's the only one I've ever been with."

Connie nodded, feeling that 15 was still too young, but at least her daughter didn't give her affections as freely as Tawni. "Well, if what I gathered from you and Lucy the other night is correct, Tawni isn't so… restrained."

"Her parents don't know that," Sonny shook her head.

"So why did she tell them, then? Why now? Did she not expect them to take it badly? Because I would think she'd have an idea…"

"There are just…things. Other issues. I can't tell you right now. It's private."

Connie nodded. "Fine. I'll stop pressing it. For now. If things get serious, though, Sonny, you can come to me. You know that? I'm here for you, no matter what. And Tawni too. She might drive me up the wall most of the time, but she's a friend all the same."

"Thanks Mom," Sonny smiled, hugging her mother. "I love you."

"I love you, too," Connie replied. "Tawni can stay, but please, please don't _go there_, Sonny."

Sonny laughed. "Don't worry. Tawni all but told me I didn't have a chance with her last night."

"And yet here you are, standing by her side," Connie mused. "She's lucky to have you for a friend. Alright, well, I'm going to be late for work if I don't get out of here. See you later."

Connie slipped out of the apartment several minutes later and Sonny moved out into the living room, taking a seat in the chair adjacent to the couch.

The bruise was worse, but the swelling had subsided. The ice pack was still cool, but no longer frozen. It lay on the floor in front of the sofa. Tawni slept soundly, which surprised Sonny—all things considered. But they had been up late talking, reaching no conclusions about how to handle Penelope or Tawni's parents and eventually delving into less depressing subject matter, such as their first times. That's how Sonny knew about Tawni losing her virginity at thirteen, to a fourteen year-old neighbor girl. Though Tawni had stressed that she and the other girl had been mature, both physically and mentally for their ages, it didn't sit right with Sonny.

Of course, it didn't bother her as much as another little moment had. They had talked for several hours and eventually Sonny had gathered up enough courage to ask, or at least _try_ and ask, the question that had been bothering her the most since she first stumbled upon Tawni with her girlfriend in the photo booth.

_"What about... I mean...did you ever...you know, even think about..."_

_Tawni had raised an eyebrow, knowing exactly where Sonny was going before the dark-haired girl had a chance to actually get the question out in a fully formed sentence. After all, Tawni could read Sonny quite well. "Have I ever thought about fucking you?"_

_Sonny had winced at her use of that word. It was so harsh and cold. Then she had looked away, blushing._

_Tawni had smirked- that knowing Tawni smirk. "Well, yeah. You looked pretty hot in my extreme skinny jeans," she'd recollected, quickly adding: "Of course, everyone did. If it weren't for that whole blood circulation issue, I'd have made a fortune with those."_

_Sonny clearly hadn't been satisfied with the answer, but didn't know how to proceed in her inquiry. So Tawni had just continued speaking instead. "You're my best friend, Sonny. I actually like you- at least most of the time-as a person. Why would I sleep with you?"_

_"That doesn't even make sense," Sonny had replied. _

_"We wouldn't be friends anymore. I don't have a ton of people I can trust."_

_"Yeah, but if you didn't screw everything that moves and were just with one person, that you cared about, then you would-"_

_"I don't screw _everything_ that moves," Tawni had scowled. "Just 80% of things with breasts."_

_Sonny couldn't help but laugh in spite of herself. Tawni then steered the conversation toward Sonny and Lucy and how on earth Sonny could tolerate the other girl for more than a couple days at a time._

_"It takes less ibuprofen than dealing with you usually does."  
_

Snapping out of her memories and glancing at her watch, Sonny noticed it was almost 9:30. They would need to leave soon if they were to make it into work on time. She moved over to Tawni and shook her gently.

Tawni groaned, reluctantly blinking her eyes open. Her hand moved to cover her bruise, which still throbbed. She pushed her blanket aside and hurried to the bathroom, returning seconds later. "I can't go to work looking like this!"

"It's not _that_ noticeable," Sonny lied.

Tawni glared at her in obvious disbelief.

"We'll just say you were mugged or something," the dark haired girl got to her feet. "It'll be fine. You have to be there tonight anyway, to meet with Penelope."

"Right," Tawni mumbled. "_That_."

"Nico's dad is a lawyer, maybe he-"

"No," Tawni answered flatly. "You can't tell anyone about this, Sonny."

"Tawni-"

"No," the blonde pressed. "I came here in confidence. It's bad enough that your mother knows as much as she does."

Sonny nodded.

Tawni disappeared into the bathroom again, for slightly longer. When she came out again her hair was fixed in a haphazard pony-tail and she had her glasses on. Sonny had never actually seen Tawni in her glasses, since she always wore contacts—but after the fiasco with Hayden, where she lost her contacts and ended up wearing Sonny's mother's needle-pointing glasses, she had made it a point to always have them in her purse. She didn't have a change of clothes on account of rushing out of her parents' the night before. "I have clothes and makeup at the studio, but I need to pick up some new contacts on the way. I called in a prescription. They should be ready by ten."

Sonny nodded again, saying nothing.

Tawni looked at her, confused by the apparent hesitation. "Well? We should get going then, shouldn't we?"

"Right, sorry," the dark haired girl rose and turned toward the door.

"Sonny?" Tawni's voice stopped her.

"What?"

"You _haven't_ told anyone else, have you?"

"No, who would I have told?"

"Marshall. Chad. The cops. I don't know."

"I didn't," Sonny insisted.

"Why are you acting so weird then?"

"Weird? I'm not acting weird," Sonny countered, her voice distinctly higher than usual. She was such a terrible liar.

Tawni crossed her arms and waited.

"I just...why did you sleep with Lucy?"

"What? I already told you I didn't know you two were-"

"No, I know that, but why would-"

"Why would I want to? Is that what you're asking? Because you freaking _dated_ her. What's one fuck to that?"

"Do you _have_ to call it that?"

"Huh?"

"Does it really mean that little to you?"

"Lucy? Of course. It was just for fun, Sonny."

"Yeah, but what about, you know, love..." her voice trailed off, thinking of how ridiculous she was sounding.

"Love?" Tawni scoffed. "It's just sex, Sonny."

"How can you honestly feel that way?"

"Look, I told you, I don't do relationships and girlfriends and all of that, there's no point."

"You really don't think that sex would be more meaningful with someone you actually cared about?"

"What? Like you and Lucy? Since that worked out so well..." Tawni laughed coldly. "Or do you mean like _you and me_?"

"W-what?"Sonny stammered. "I didn't mean- I wasn't saying-"

"Trust me, sweetie," Tawni put an arm around her shoulder. "As a lover, I'd just make you madder than I do already."

"I wasn't-"

"Let's go," Tawni cut her off, grabbing her car keys and heading out the door.

Sonny sighed and locked the door behind them.

* * *

It was nearly eleven by the time they arrived at the studio, where they promptly ran into not only an angry Marshall, and an annoyed Grady and Zora, but Mr. Condor had dropped by to watch rehearsal—something he almost never did—and was infuriated by the perceived unprofessionalism. He paid them thousands of dollars, after all, for every episode. They damned well better work for it!

Sonny and Tawni jointly fumbled for an excuse, only to have their boss cut them off with a wave of his hand and stomp off the set, demanding to speak with them later. They would not waste any more of his time and money when they needed to be working.

Once he was out of earshot, Marshall turned to them. "You two better have a good explanation for this."

Sonny looked over her shoulder at Tawni, who was staring at the floor, the pink hood of a sweatshirt she'd had in her car pulled up over her head so she could hide the bruise.

She looked back at Marshall. "It's my fault. I was late and had to, uh, stop and fill a prescription…for my mom. Tawni was nice enough to pick me up so I wasn't even later."

"Uh huh," Marshall nodded, clearly not buying it. "Well, get to work. You're going to have to come up with a better excuse when you speak with Mr. Condor later." With that, he turned and hurried off the set.

Zora crossed his arms. "_Tawni _was nice enough to pick you up?"

"Doesn't sound like Tawni," Grady mused.

"I drove her all the way across the damn country when the rest of you bailed on her!" Tawni snapped, all of a sudden. "I'm not a complete bitch!"

She stormed off toward her dressing room, leaving all her cast-mates, including Sonny, shocked.

"I wasn't trying to-" Zora stammered, not used to eliciting such an upset response—she always gave Tawni a hard time.

"It's not you, there's…she's having some issues today. Just be nice," Sonny said, then adding: "But not too nice. Not suspiciously nice. Or she'll think I told you."

"Is everything alright?" Grady asked, genuinely concerned.

Sonny paused a moment before answering. "No, not really. Where's Nico?"

* * *

Tawni was hurrying to her dressing room, hood up and head down, when she collided with Chad Dylan Cooper, causing both actors to crash to the ground in an embarrassing heap.

"Hey, watch where you're going," Chad quipped, quickly jumping to his feet. "This face needs to stay pretty."

"Sorry, Chad," she mumbled without looking at him, pushing herself up and attempting to hurry past without making eye contact.

"Tawni?" he grabbed her gently by the arm and turned her to him, eyes softening when he saw the bruise.

"What?" she snapped.

"Who did this?"

"Who do you think?"

"Why'd you tell him? Your dad's worse than mine."

She opened her mouth to speak, thought better of it, and turned away. "I have to go. I'm already late."

"You can talk to me, you know," he offered. "We had our agreement, after all. We aren't friends, obviously, but…you know."

She nodded, a brief half-smile flashing across her face. "I know, Chad."

When it was clear she wasn't going to take him up on the offer at the moment, he continued on his way to the Mackenzie Falls set, while Tawni continued her rush to her dressing room.

A confused Nico stepped around the corner once they were both gone. "What the hell?"


	6. Dance Around a Pit

**A/N:** Just for the record, this chapter was complete on Wednesday, March 2nd, and could have been posted sooner if more of you would bother to review. Sincere thanks to those of you that do! And to whichever one of you commented about Sonny being a little down, compared with how she is on the show, I know what you mean. I'm hoping she'll regain some of her general perkiness as the story progresses, certainly by the end (and we ain't half way there yet). These have been an intense couple days for her.

Anyway, some things will be solved (ish) this chapter. Others are still just beginning...

**Chapter Six: Dance Around a Pit**

After an hour and a half of rehearsals without Nico or Tawni present, the remaining three So Random! cast members decided to break for lunch. Mr. Condor expected Sonny and Tawni in his office by one, according to a text Marshall had received.

Nico was pacing back and forth in the prop house when Grady, Zora, and Sonny showed up. "Where have you been, man?" Grady asked. "Condor and Marshall are both pissed off and tomorrow is show night. We need to get to work."

"And where's Tawni?" Zora asked, still feeling like she needed to apologize.

"Tawni's taking a shower," Sonny answered, figuring that was the only reason the blonde was taking so long to change.

Nico hesitated a moment, looking Sonny over. "I just overheard something kind of… strange. And I don't know how you're going to feel about it Sonny…"

"Huh?"

"Well, and you know I'm only telling you this because we're friends, not because I'm trying to upset you, because I'm not. And I'll be the first one to beat Chad up if you ask me to."

"What?" Now she was really confused.

"I overheard Tawni and Chad talking and…well…I think there might be a thing…between them."

"_What_?"

"I know it's shocking, and I know Tawni might not always be the nicest, but I'm really surprised that she's doing this to you. I mean, we all know how hard your breakup with Chad was."

"_What_?" Sonny repeated a third time, apparently unable to form any other words.

"What did you hear?" Grady asked, intrigued.

"Well, it was weird. They were all like 'we're not friends but we have an arrangement'. So I don't think they're a couple. But I think maybe they're…you know…more than friends."

"_Friends with benefit_s, you mean?" Zora asked.

"You're too young to even be involved in this conversation," Sonny scoffed, gently ushering the younger girl into her sarcophagus and shutting the door.

"Tawni and Chad aren't sleeping together," Sonny said, finally mustering up some new words.

"I know it's hard for you-"

"No, they aren't, trust me. I don't know what their 'arrangement' is, but I know it's not that," Sonny insisted. "And for the record, I am totally and completely over Chad. Honestly, I was never _that_ into him."

"Uh huh," Nico and Grady replied in unison, clearly disbelieving.

Sonny rolled her eyes and made for the door. "I'm going to go find Tawni. We need to go talk with Mr. Condor."

Grady shook his head. "She's in denial. This is bad."

"We need to step up and be the men, G," Nico decided, banging a hand against his chest for manly emphasis.

"Yeah, we do!" Grady exclaimed eagerly, his excitement almost immediately becoming confusion. "What do you mean?"

"I mean we gotta go find Chad and give him a piece of our minds," Nico declared, marching out of the room.

Grady wasn't too sure about that, but he always followed Nico and this was no exception.

* * *

Tawni had showered, changed, and spent the better part of the morning applying makeup to hide the bruise on her face. She had just achieved satisfaction when Sonny entered the room.

"We need to go get Marshall and then talk with Mr. Condor," she said, clearly worried.

"Uh huh," Tawni replied, without taking her face from the mirror.

"This is serious, Tawni," Sonny dropped down on the couch. "I've been out for two days and now I was late and you blew off rehearsals all morning… Condor was texting Marshall every five minutes for the past two hours. He's really angry."

"A lot of people are angry with me right now," Tawni stated matter-of-factly.

"You mean your parents?" Sonny assumed, glancing over at the blonde, who still hadn't broken her gaze from the mirror. "They probably just need some time to cool down. At least, that's what my mom thinks."

"What do _you_ think?"

"Your dad hit you," Sonny replied. "You don't deserve that. No one does. No matter what."

Tawni nodded, still not turning. "See those flowers there?"

Sonny looked around a moment before finding the colorful bouquet.

"They're from my mom," Tawni explained. "Read the card."

Sonny leaned forward and grasped the tiny white tag, flipping it over to see Tammy Hart's bubbly scrawl in pink ink.

"Your Daddy is sorry he overreacted. We're going to get U some help."

"So they're going to deal with Penelope?" Sonny asked, admittedly relieved, even though she still wasn't sure she felt Tawni should return to their house.

"Oh no, that's not what I need help with," Tawni said, her voice cold and emotionless. "See the ribbon around the vase? There's a brochure in it."

Sonny reached down and pulled the brochure out. There was a giant cross on the front, underscored with the words Find the Light Within. She frowned and flipped open the booklet, wherein the 12-step program to heterosexuality was described. "You're kidding me?"

Tawni shook her head, finally turning away from the mirror. "Let's go talk to Condor."

"Are you going to do this?" Sonny asked, concerned, holding up the brochure.

"Let's go talk to Condor," Tawni repeated flatly.

* * *

Marshall kept wiping his sweaty palms on his pant legs. Thirty years in the business and he still couldn't handle meetings with the boss.

Sonny fidgeted nervously as well.

Tawni was the only one who seemed cool and collected. She had been involved in a texting conversation with someone for several minutes by the time Condor actually showed up.

"So," the barrel-chested man boomed as he entered the room. "Before you start spewing out dog-ate-my-script nonsense, I want to make it clear that I've heard every inane excuse in the book. Don't waste my time."

Marshall and Sonny nodded vigorously. Tawni didn't even look up.

"Toni?" Condor asked, his tone biting and his eyes dark. "Am I wasting your precious time?"

"No, sir," Tawni replied, giving him her attention. "And my name is Tawni."

"Tawni was my ex-wife's name," Mr. Condor said.

"It's mine too," Tawni stated pointedly. She had always let him call her whatever he wanted, but not today. Today was different. Everything would be different from now on. Tawni Hart was going to take control. Holding up her phone, she explained why she'd been texting. "I was just taking care of a little problem."

"A problem that couldn't wait?" Mr. Condor's face was reddening. He expected the full and undivided attention of his employees whenever he was in the room, especially in an official meeting. This blonde's attitude was bordering on inexcusable.

"No, sir, it could not," Tawni answered, then taking a deep breath, she continued her explanation. "There's a sex tape out with me in it and I'm trying to stop it from getting to the media. It would be bad for my career and for Condor Studios, since I'm on a kids show."

Marshall and Condor were both dumbstruck by her admission.

She wasn't finished yet. "And the tricky part is that it's not _just_ a sex tape. It's a gay sex tape."

"Tawni, stop talking right now," Marshall ordered, though his voice was hoarse and barely above a whisper.

"That's the truth," she shrugged. "I'm done with the secrecy."

"Tawni, can I talk to you a minute?" Sonny asked, grabbing the blonde's arm and making an effort to pull her to the door. Clearly, Tawni wasn't thinking straight and she wanted to knock some sense into her friend before she lost her job.

"Are you two an item?" Mr. Condor asked plainly.

"Wh-what?" Sonny stammered, wide-eyed.

"No," Tawni answered. "_So_, _so_ not."

"I'm not gay," Sonny said, the words rushing out of her lips in an unusually high tone.

"Really?" Mr. Condor inquired, skeptically, and seeming genuinely surprised.

"Of course not," Marshall chimed in emphatically. "She was dating Chad Dylan Cooper until very recently. She's straight as...as... as a nice girl from Wisconsin would be."

"Yeah, because there's no queers in Wisconsin," Tawni rolled her eyes.

"I figured she was Mr. Cooper's beard," Mr. Condor shrugged. "Either way, this is irrelevant. You're on a children's show, so you can keep this sort of thing private. What you do on your own time is your business, but what you on _my_ time, is _my_ business."

"Mr. Condor, I can assure you-" Marshall started, frantically trying to save face.

"Shut up, you sweaty little man," Mr. Condor interrupted. "I don't care if you've got homos on your staff. This is LA. They are everywhere."

"They're even in Milwaukee, I promise," Tawni quipped.

"Yes, well, in the business especially. I could care less, so long as it does not interfere with work. A sex tape is an issue for me. I will not have parents forbidding their children to watch...what show are you from again?"

"So Random," the three replied.

"Ah, yes, that one," Mr. Condor nodded. "I won't have children being forbidden to watch because their parents learn of a sex scandal involving one of the cast, gay or otherwise."

"It's taken care of," Tawni insisted.

"How so?" he asked.

Sonny looked to Tawni as well, confused as to when the blonde had figured out a solution to her problem.

"I can't say, but trust me, it's taken care of. However," Tawni hesitated a moment. "So that this doesn't happen again, I want to release a statement to the press."

"What sort of statement?"

"I want to tell people the truth," Tawni explained.

"What?" Sonny and Marshall couldn't contain their shock.

"Look, a sex tape is scandalous in general, but the only reason I was being blackmailed this time was because of the gay factor. If everyone knows, there's no special motivation to catch me in the act."

"Tawni, I don't know if that's a good idea-"

"Well, I'm not going to stop having sex- that would be a crime. I'm too good. It would be like if Van Gogh quit painting or Mozart stopped composing or Lady Gaga quit...being Lady Gaga. So I'm just going to come clean instead. I really don't care if you want me to or not, it's what I'm going to do."

With that, she rose and excused herself.

"Mr. Condor," Marshall tried again.

"Don't," he held up his hand. "It's alright. I won't fire her for this. It would be illegal. We'll see what happens. If ratings plummet, we'll see. This is business, like I said. What she does on her own time..." Mr. Condor paused a moment. "Honestly, she's quite brave to do this, if she goes through with it. There may be queers everywhere in this business but they are rarely out in the open. You two are excused." He waved his hand, gesturing for them to leave, which they did, anxiously.

"Did you know she was going to do that?" Marshall asked, as soon as he felt they were out of Condor's earshot.

"No, I don't..." Sonny glanced both ways down the hall, wondering where Tawni would've gone. "I need to talk to her."

She started to leave, but was stopped by Marshall. "Sonny?"

"Yeah?"

"Are you really... _not_?"

"What?"

He shrugged. "You always seemed...sort of... I don't know..."

She let out a frustrated sigh and hurried off down the hall, without answering him.

* * *

Tawni released her statement through an interview with People magazine- since that was the magazine she saw first when she got back to her dressing room. Tween Weekly wouldn't have been an appropriate venue. She had been rather terse, calling them up and simply telling them this: _Tawni Hart is queer and proud. And amazing in bed._

That last bit might be more than Condor would tolerate, but it just slipped out and she couldn't help herself. Humility had never been her strong suit. The news hit the internet first and within an hour her phone started ringing off the hook. She had never received this much publicity in her life and she intended to milk it for all it was worth.

The only calls she rejected were from her parents and from Sonny. She didn't care to hear from anyone who would tell her she'd made a mistake. She wasn't stupid. She knew she was taking a risk, but she also knew it felt like the right risk to take.

* * *

"YOU WILL REGRET THIS, CHAD!" Penelope screamed as the officers dragged her off the Mackenzie Falls set.

"Will I, Penelope? Will I _really_?," he replied with a smile, glancing down at the DVD in his hand. Several hours earlier, Tawni had finally filled him in on her situation via text, and, seeing as he was the object of Penelope's affection, he had been able to not only acquire the DVD, but also to erase copies on her computer as well.

She had been ecstatic to hear from him. And when he told her he had heard rumors of her return and of the tape, and that he wanted to see it himself, well, she couldn't turn him down- she was in love with him and it's not like he would help Tawni Hart with anything anyway. She brought her laptop down to the Mackenzie Falls set, after hours, as he'd requested, and tried to show him the video- presumably figuring that him seeing her make it with another girl would get him all turned on too, and then she could take full advantage of his Dylan. He, of course, didn't watch. He swiftly closed the video window and then dragged the file to her recycle bin, deleting it before she could stop him. A computer nerd might be able to get it back but neither he nor Penelope could. And then, just for good measure, he dropped the laptop in the Mack Falls fountain. "Oops! SECURITY!"

Guards emerged almost immediately, giving Chad barely enough time to snatch the disc inside Penelope's coat pocket before they carried her away. He flipped out his phone and sent Tawni a text: "Got it."

"Thanx. In prop house," she replied, not a minute later.

He headed over to the So Random! stage.

On his way, he ran into Sonny. "Do you know where Tawni is?"

"Yeah, she's in the prop house," he nodded. "I'm going to talk to her now."

"Prop house? I was just there ten minutes ago..."

"Well, she's there now," he shrugged, pushing past.

She noticed the DVD in his hand then and followed him.

Nico and Grady were in the prop house when Sonny and Chad arrived.

Tawni was on the couch frantically pushing buttons on her phone.

Chad tossed the DVD at her, snapping her out of her intense fixation on the phone. She looked at him. "Thanks, Chad."

"Oh, you'll take your attention away from the phone for Chad, but not us?" Nico asked, perturbed.

"My phone's dead. It just died. I've been on it since four this afternoon," she was beaming.

"Why didn't you ever tell us?" Grady asked. "You didn't think we'd care, did you?"

"I didn't think about it one way or another," Tawni shrugged.

"Makes sense," Nico conceded. Tawni wouldn't be the type to spend excessive amounts of time contemplating other people's feelings on anything.

"Well, we don't," Grady said. "Just so you know."

"Ok," Tawni replied, really not caring about their opinions on the matter.

"Why now though? It seems really out of the blue," Nico said. "And what's with you and Chad? I heard you two earlier and I thought you were..."

"Chad just helped me out with a problem I was having," Tawni explained succinctly, her expression telling them that they would not be privy to any more information than that. "As far as why now? It was just time. My parents kicked me out of my house and then sent me an apology and a brochure for a scare-you-straight place. I would be lying if I didn't say part of the reason I decided to tell the world- since it really isn't their business anyway- is just to get back at them."

"They kicked you out?" Grady asked, concerned. "Where are you staying?"

"Sonny's."

"Oh," Nico nodded, a slow smile forming on his lips as he shot a knowing look at the dark haired girl. "_Of course _you are."

"What's that supposed to mean?" Sonny asked, glaring at him.

"Nothing," he said, unable to stop grinning.

"It's a good thing we didn't beat Chad up," Grady mused, nudging Nico in the side.

"What?" Chad looked at them.

"Well, we thought you were sleeping with Tawni, and that was so not cool after breaking up with Sonny, only now we see that Sonny's really over you and-"

"And what?" Sonny snapped.

"You _so_ could not have beat me up!" Chad barked.

"Oh I think we could," Nico argued.

Before long all three boys were caught up debating over their manliness and Sonny was able to easily usher them out of the room. Intent on discussing her friend's insane course of action, she turned to Tawni, who had a broad grin on her face.

"What?"

"Want to watch it?"

"WHAT?"

"Come on," she patted the space on the sofa next to her, slipping the disc into her laptop.

"Are you kidding?"

"Sweetie, you know it's as close as you're ever going to get," she said coyly, grabbing Sonny's arm and pulling her down onto the sofa beside her.

Tawni pushed play.


	7. I Will Sneak Myself Into Your Pocket

**A/N:** I have a sneaking suspicion that 'show night' in the actual show is Saturday, but I'm making it Friday just 'cause I feel like it. And reviews! Thank you! Now was that so hard?

**Chapter Seven: I Will Sneak Myself Into Your Pocket**

Sonny stared at her bedroom ceiling, unable to sleep. That video… it was burned into her brain, not to mention Tawni's arm around her, holding her there on the couch to watch, making sure she couldn't leave, and giggling that annoyingly adorable Tawni-giggle all the while. She was hardly traumatized by the ordeal, of course. It was more the notion that Tawni seemed to be reveling in the fact that Sonny had this crush on her. She may have always known, but now that Tawin was out and Sonny wasn't as in-the-closet as she'd always thought she was, the blonde was doing everything in her power to drive Sonny out of her mind, and, of course, consistently reassuring her that she didn't have a chance in hell with her. This whole crush thing had been a lot easier when Sonny thought Tawni was straight.

And even easier still when she hadn't seen her _naked_ and...and...

Sonny sighed. That was it. A cold shower was in order. But that meant passing through the living room, where Tawni was, asleep. And _that_? At _this_ moment? Not possible. She rolled over, grumbling to herself, and pulled her pillow over her head as though that would somehow block the thoughts she couldn't seem to escape.

Somehow, though, Sonny managed to fall asleep. She couldn't avoid Tawni in her dreams either, but it didn't matter there. After all, in dreams, Sonny could have her whenever and however she wanted. And, in dreams, Tawni wanted her too.

* * *

The two girls were expected at work extra early, a last ditch effort to make up for how little work they'd done over the past few days. They didn't speak much the better part of the morning, Tawni not typically being a morning person and Sonny still unsure of the best way to deal with...well, everything. Connie had an early shift at work and hadn't had the chance to talk with either girl, as she'd wanted- mostly with Sonny, of course, to beg her daughter not to follow Tawni's lead and come breaking out of the closet. And once they arrived at the studio they went straight to work. It was Friday, and that meant show night. These were the final hours to work out all the kinks and perfect The Funny.

Around one, Sonny headed down to the commissary for lunch, joining Zora, Nico and Grady.

"Ok, so..." Grady began as soon as she took her seat. "Now that Tawni's all...you know...gay and stuff... and she's staying with you-"

Sonny cut him off, irately. "_Why_ does everyone keep assuming I-"

"Whoa," Grady threw his hands up. "I just wanted to know if she'd brought any girls home. _You know what I mean_?"

Nico elbowed him. "Not in front of the K-I-D!"

Zora rolled her eyes."I spend a lot of time up in those vents. Believe me, I know a lot more than you about life, the universe, and everything."

"No, she didn't bring a girl home," Sonny replied. "You think my mom would allow that?"

"No, but I also don't think Tawni would care what your mother allowed," Nico shrugged.

"Where is Tawni, anyway?" Sonny asked, as if just noticing the blonde wasn't with them. She smiled to herself, proud to have managed to take her mind off the other girl for at least a few minutes.

"Over there," Nico nodded toward another table. "Having way better luck with the ladies than I ever have."

"Well, just the gay ones," Grady said. "So you shouldn't feel bad about it. Clearly it wasn't your fault you weren't making it with any of them. And since Tawni not only announced her...gayness... and also announced her amazing-in-bededness," he stopped, unsure if his words even made sense, and finding himself distracted with the thought of Tawni with another girl.

Tawni was surrounded by five or six other girls, all of whom Sonny had seen around the studio before, but none of whom she knew to be gay. Sonny stared, as if hypnotized, as Tawni flirted unabashedly with all of them, exchanging numbers right and left. And eventually they left and Tawni remained with one girl only, a Mackenzie Falls extra whose name Sonny couldn't recall. Sonny felt a fire burning in her cheeks when Tawni's hand dropped down to rest on the other girl's thigh as she leaned over and whispered something in the girl's ear, and judging by the girl's expression, it was obviously something _extremely_ enticing. The two of them were up from their seats and hurrying out of the room seconds later.

Sonny found it nearly impossible to eat the rest of her meal.

Nico and Grady sensed the need for a subject change and spent the rest of the break discussing a new sketch idea.

Afterward, Sonny headed to her dressing room. She opened the door to find Tawni pulling her shirt back on and the other girl zipping up her skirt.

"Sonny, hi," the other girl said, blushing, before turning to Tawni. "Call me."

"Of course," Tawni smiled.

Almost immediately after the girl slipped out of the room, Tawni deleted her from her phone. Turning to Sonny, she grinned. "We should probably put rubber bands on the door knobs or something when we're..._entertaining_."

"What? No!" Sonny snapped. "I won't be _entertaining _anyone here."

"Alright, well, _I_ should put something on when_ I _am entertaining because...well... if you had walked in ten minutes earlier..."

"No!" Sonny's hands flew up. "No, no, no, no, no!"

"Sonny-"

"This is _our_ dressing room, not just yours. And I say no!"

"Ok," Tawni shrugged. "No rubber band. Every time you open the door it'll be a surprise."

"No, Tawni," Sonny insisted. "No you can't bring girls here. Come on!"

"Sonny, do you have any idea how many girls I've brought here before? This is hardly the first."

Sonny crossed her arms, angrily. "I don't...why...you...this..."

Tawni smirked. "We need to get to rehearsal."

She walked briskly past Sonny, moving unnecessarily close to the dark haired girl- or at least it seemed too close for comfort to Sonny- and left the door open behind her.

After a few deep breaths, and conquering a sudden urge to cry, Sonny turned and followed.

* * *

Two new sketches were premiered that night, both to roaring laughter and resounding applause. All of the established sketches were well-received, too. The only blow of the night came at the curtain call.

Tawni was last called out, to a louder applause that usual, not to mention a boisterous standing ovation.

Marshall took the mic to thank the audience, as he always did, and as soon as there was silence, someone in the crowd yelled out: "Rot in hell you disgusting pervert!"

Even though Marshall was the one holding the mic, everyone knew the shout wasn't directed at him.

As soon as the shock of the moment wore off, most of the audience chimed in, booing and cursing the heckler.

The cast bowed and exited the stage, doing their best not to show any reaction. Of course, the show was filmed live and so their initial startled expressions were broadcast across America already. Tawni was the only one who remained poised through it all, as if she had anticipated it.

Behind the scenes, that wasn't the case and she was fighting back tears- real tears, not Tawni-tears, not that whining cry she did whenever she didn't get her way, but sincere tears, tears of pain. Nico threw and arm around her shoulder. "Don't pay attention to them, Tawni."

She shrugged his arm away, avoiding eye-contact and looking for her coat.

"Yeah, it was just one guy," Grady offered. "The rest of the audience booed him."

Pulling on her coat, she walked out the door without responding to either of them.

"What about pizza night?" Grady called.

Nico glared at him.

Sonny and Marshall were last off the stage.

"Where's Tawni?" Marshall asked, worried.

"She left," Nico said, pointing toward the door.

Sonny hurried out, catching sight of Tawni just before she slipped out another door, leading into a back alleyway.

Running down the hall, so as not to lose her, Sonny pulled open the door and rushed outside, catching up to Tawni several feet away, waiting at a crosswalk.

"Tawni," she panted, out of breath. "Are you...are you...ok?"

Tawni blinked a few times. "I'm fine."

"No, you aren't," Sonny protested.

"Why are you asking if you already have an answer?"

Sonny hesitated. "Look, you had to know this sort of thing would happen..."

"I did," Tawni stated. "I told you: I'm fine."

"Where are you going?" Sonny asked.

"Out for a drink," she replied. "Or a few."

"A drink? Like alcohol?"

Tawni looked over at Sonny, clearly aggravated. "Yes, _like alcohol_. What are you, 12?"

"You're seventeen. No club will let you in."

"Actually, there's a couple that will," Tawni replied. "Come on." Reaching out, she took Sonny's hand and pulled the shorter girl after her.

* * *

It was a dimly lit dive bar, but the bouncer and the bartender both knew Tawni and let her in without question, welcoming anyone she brought along. It didn't seem like the sort of place Tawni Hart would ever be caught dead- and in point of fact, she told Sonny never to mention the place or that she'd been there to anyone, ever. Apparently, an uncle of hers owned the place and it was one of her wind-down spots- one of those places she went when she didn't want to think about anything at all. It wasn't a gay bar, though Tawni quickly managed to find some girls to dance with anyway, and no one seemed to care.

Sonny just took a seat in a corner booth and sipped on a ginger ale, beyond paranoid that cops would come busting in to raid the place any moment.

Three hours later, she was still nervously glancing every which way, always expecting a police officer to show up and arrest her.

Tawni, completely sloshed by this point, came staggering over to Sonny's lonely little booth and took a seat- she had repeatedly tried to get Sonny to dance with some other girls, to no avail. Sonny had danced with a guy at one point, for no reason other than the hope that if any paparazzi _did_ find them here, it might put an end to the gay rumors that she couldn't seem to shake. Tawni hadn't been pleased with her.

"Sonny, Sonny, Sonny," Tawni said, scooting across the bench until she was _rightnextto_ Sonny. "You are not having fun!"

"I think we should go," Sonny replied. "You've had more than enough."

"There's _never_ enough," Tawni whispered playfully, her lips brushing against Sonny's ear. She brought her hand down to rest on Sonny's bare thigh, just below the hem of her skirt, causing the dark haired girl's heart to start pounding."No such thing."

"Um..." Sonny's thoughts started to blur together, all of her attention focused on Tawni's finger tips, slowly, slowly, moving upward, slipping just under her skirt, closer, and closer, and... "Stop!" Sonny knocked the blonde's hand away.

Tawni laughed that infectious laugh of hers. Sonny swallowed hard.

"You need to loosen up, Sonny," Tawni said, slipping her arm around Sonny's waist. "All of us disgusting perverts will be in hell eventually. Might as well enjoy our time here, right?"

"You're drunk and upset," Sonny said, refusing to look at her friend. "We need to go home. My mom is probably getting worried."

"Alright," she sighed. "I hope you remember where I parked my car. Or..._which_ car I drove..."

Sonny nodded, taking the keys and leading Tawni out of the bar.


	8. Slip Into the Groove

**A/N:** This chapter is a tad short, but that happens sometimes, no? There was to be another scene at the end, but I decided to move that to next chapter instead, so, yeah. We're moving right along...

**Chapter Eight: Slip Into the Groove**

Tawni was up unusually early the next morning. Her head was throbbing from the night before and she'd already thrown up once. The bruise on her eye still hadn't gone away,and though she'd been able to conceal it well enough with makeup, it was tender to the touch. She was on the phone when Sonny entered the kitchen.

Making an effort not to make any noise, Sonny set about pouring herself a bowl of cereal and taking a seat beside her mother at the table. "Who's she talking to?"

"A lawyer, I think," Connie replied in a hushed voice, sipping her coffee. "She's trying to file for emancipation...or at least, that's what I'm getting. It's not like she fills me in on anything," she turned to her daughter with a raised eyebrow. "A fair amount of that going around, isn't there?"

"No," Sonny whispered back. "What do you mean?"

"You two came in really late last night. And I can tell she was obviously pretty hammered."

"I wasn't, though," Sonny protested.

"Neither of you are old enough to even have access-"

"She had a rough night-"

"Oh, well, I guess that makes it alright," Connie's patience was starting to wear thin. "You haven't been yourself at all since Lucy got here. You've been-"

"Has she left yet?"

"She gets on a plane later today, I think," Connie replied. "But seriously, Sonny, this isn't acceptable behavior. I'm not going to-"

"I'm sorry, Mom," Sonny said. "I made sure nothing happened."

"Don't interrupt me," Connie said, her voice tight.

"Sorry," Sonny replied, her voice low. "I'm just...stressed right now."

"Sonny, you're-" she hesitated, unsure of how to say what she needed to say.

Before she had a chance to find her words, Tawni hung up and sat with them, proceeding ahead as though they couldn't possibly have been in their own conversation, or if they had been, it didn't matter enough to bother respecting. "This should be easier than I thought. Yet again, it pays to be me."

"Tawni, honey," Connie started. "Maybe you should talk with your parents again. Maybe-"

"They _hit_ her!" Sonny snapped. "She can't just let them-"

"I'm dealing with the situation myself," Tawni interrupted. "It'll be fine. I'll be out of here soon, I promise."

"Oh, I wasn't trying to kick you out, honey, you can stay as long as you want," Connie insisted, though she was relieved at news of Tawni's impending departure. "I just meant-"

"I know, I know," Tawni nodded, not caring to hear more. She got to her feet. "I'm going to go shower."

"Look, Sonny," Connie turned to her daughter once the blonde was out of earshot. "I know what happened last night, and I feel bad for her, I really do, but she brought this on herself."

"What?" Sonny tilted her head up slightly, her eyes darkening. "All she did was tell the truth."

"You know what I mean-"

"She shouldn't _have_ to keep it a secret," Sonny said bitterly, getting up and putting her unfinished bowl of cereal in the sink. "None of us should have to do that."

"Sonny," Connie protested with a sigh as her daughter left. This whole mess was getting out of hand.

Retreating to her room, Sonny patiently waited for her turn in the shower. She sat on her bed, cross-legged, listening to her mother gathering up her things and leaving for work.

Tawni poked her towel-wrapped head in several minutes later. "Where's your ibuprofen?"

"What are you going to do, Tawni?"

"... take some ibuprofen...?"

"No, I mean... you're... you could get really hurt with all of this. You already got a black eye."

"I don't know, I'm not much of a planner," she shrugged. "I'll figure it out as I go."

"You can't-"

"Since when have you been such a pessimist, Sonny? You're _supposed_ to be the aggravatingly naive one."

"Well, not all situations call for aggravating naivete."

"We're comedians, we're supposed to find the humor in everything. You were usually pretty good at that. One of your few strengths."

Sonny rolled her eyes, but didn't reply.

"Why do you keep trying to tell me what to do?" Tawni asked, tilting her head to the side and planting her hands on her hips. "You keep trying to keep me...quiet. Caged. I don't know. But you're trying to restrain me."

"No I'm not," she shook her head. "I just don't want you to get hurt. And so far, that's all you've done. You got punched, you've had slurs hurled at you-"

"I'm over that guy, he just caught me off guard."

"You were _really_ upset about it," Sonny countered.

"No, I'm not."

"You got completely smashed just to-"

"Sonny, I'm fine, really. Or I'll be fine once you tell me where your medicine cabinet is."

"Do you really think you're going to be burning in hell for this?"

"What?"

"Last night, you said-"

"I was drunk. And I don't care about hell one way or another."

"Tawni-"

"Yeah, I was a little upset, but it's no big deal. Just caught me off guard, like I said."

"Fine, if you say so," Sonny relented, clearly unconvinced.

"I'm a chatty drunk is all," Tawni shrugged.

Sonny hesitated, half-smiling then. "You were coming onto me pretty hard."

"I come onto everything when I'm drunk, don't flatter yourself," she rolled her eyes and held out her hand. "Ibuprofen. Now."

* * *

So Random! usually had Saturdays off, since it was the day after show night, but this weekend they had all be called in. Presumably to make up for their missed days the week before- Condor would get every hour of work he paid for, after all. They all met up on the stage and proceeded to work out the lineup for the following show, all staying as focused as they could on the work at hand.

It was close to eleven when Marshall showed up on set and asked to have a word with Tawni, in private.

She left with him, calmly enough, though the others suspected she was nervous as hell inside- a private meeting with Marshall was never a good thing.

"There isn't an easy way for me to break this to you, Tawni," he began, as soon as they were secluded enough. "Condor wants you off the show, temporarily."

"I'm the biggest star on the show-"

"I know, but until figures out a way to deal with... look, it's not really your fault, kiddo," Marshall put a hand on her shoulder, which she quickly knocked away. "We have kids in the audience. And parents aren't comfortable with it-I don't mean with you, just... that heckler from last night. That sort of thing. We have no way of knowing who will or won't shout something out and we film live and-"

"People could always shout something," she protested, crossing her arms. "They could yell racist slurs at Nico or they could just call me and Sonny sluts or bitches or they-"

"I know, but they don't," he interrupted. "This is the first time it has ever happened and Condor wants you off the show for now. You aren't fired. It's just until we figure something out. It's as much for your safety as it is for-"

"This isn't fair."

"Look, I'm sorry, alright? But you chose to announce yourself to the world and now you're dealing with the consequences."

"Oh, so this is my fault? I could have announced that I was-"

"Tawni, I can't do anything for you, Ok? I'm sorry," Marshall sighed and walked away, heading back to the stage.

The blonde stormed off in the opposite direction, toward her dressing room.

When Marshall returned without Tawni, the other cast members grew even more concerned.

"Tawni is taking a temporary leave of absence from the show," he explained.

The foursome erupted in confused and upset rambling.

"Alright, alright, ALRIGHT!" Marshall flailed his arms about as if that would ensure them quieting down. "I know no one's happy about this, but it is what it is. And it's only temporary. Now get back to work."

Sonny hurried off the stage after he left, without offering any explanation to her cast mates, though none of them really needed one. She made her way to their dressing room, assuming that was where Tawni would be. She was right.

Only Tawni wasn't alone.

The blonde was straddling another girl on the floor, working the girl's top off, until Sonny had barged in and interrupted them.

"Tawni!" Sonny snapped.

"What? I never agreed to your little rule..."

The other girl pulled her shirt closed and blushed.

"Get out," Sonny ordered, grabbing the girl by the arms and pulling her up from the floor, out from under Tawni. She shoved her out the door and shut it behind her.

When she turned around, she was met by an icy glare. "You _cannot_ do that. Not to me, Sonny."

"When did you even- you only got here, like, four minutes before me."

"Yeah, well, thanks to you I didn't get very far, now did I?" Tawni snapped, then adding an explanation: "She was in the hall when I got here. Looking for me," she paused again, only a moment. "What do you want, Sonny? Shouldn't _you_ still be at rehearsal?"

"I wanted to make sure you were OK," Sonny offered.

"I would've been if you hadn't showed up."

"Tawni-" she protested, though she couldn't think of anything to say to help the situation.

Tawni didn't wait for her to come up with something. She grabbed her coat and bag and pushed past her friend. "Whatever. I have things to do."

"What do-"

"None of your business, Sonny. I know you can't help but meddle, but I've sonny'd this up enough myself. I don't need your always-disastrous help." Tawni pulled the door shut behind her. She had one other stop to make before she left the studio.

When Sonny arrived home that evening, she found all of Tawni's things gone. There was no note and when Sonny tried to call, it went straight to voice mail.


	9. Slowly We Unfurl

**A/N:** Wherein we attempt to give Chad Dylan Cooper some out-of-character depth...

**Chapter Nine: Slowly We Unfurl**

Defeated, Sonny plugged her cell phone into its charger after the beeping of the near-dead battery interrupted her latest attempt at getting a hold of Tawni. It was the eighth attempted call of the morning. She had called Tawni over twenty times the previous evening and never once had the blonde picked up.

"Honey, just take the hint, will you?" Connie said, sitting down beside her daughter and holding out a mug of cocoa.

Sonny took it, issuing a half-hearted thanks.

"It's just... she been causing trouble for you anyway. Since the first day you got here, really, and now she's gone. You should just accept it and move on. I'm sure she's alright. She'll be OK. You don't need to worry."

"How can you say that?"

"Sonny-"

"She's seventeen and she has nowhere to go. I was her only friend and I pushed her away."

"Oh, you did not. You didn't do anything," Connie argued. "She got herself into this mess. I know you shouldn't have to hide and all that, but... I'm sorry, Sonny, the world isn't a fair place. And clueless as she can sometimes appear, Tawni isn't stupid. She knew that. She knew the risks she was taking and she did it anyway. It's on her and her alone. You were supportive, you were there for her... what else could you have done?"

Sonny didn't reply and so Connie continued. "I talked to Tammy last night, for a long time, and I think maybe some family therapy for all of them would be a good idea. Tammy seemed to agree with me. She even said she's already talked to someone."

"Not a_ real_ therapist," Sonny interjected. "She's... they want Tawni to go to one of the places that 'make you straight'. That's their idea of serious therapy."

"You don't know that."

"They sent her a brochure. I saw it," Sonny paused, her eyes widening suddenly in horror. "Oh my gosh, you don't think she went there, do you?"

"I doubt it," Connie smirked. "Tawni doesn't strike me as the type of person who gives up things she loves for other people, no matter who they are. Tawni is, and always has been, all about Tawni."

"She is her own best friend," Sonny conceded. "She isn't as selfish as she seems, though. She's always there for you when you need it most. She just doesn't care about your little problems. But she drove me across the country to help me clear my name. And that didn't benefit her in any way. It was all for me."

"Yeah, well, I hardly called her a demon. But you could do better than her," Connie explained.

"What? That's not even the point-"

"Isn't it though?"

"Mom, you don't get it-"

"You've been crushing on her from Day 1. When you found out she was gay, you started to crush even harder. I'll be damned if you haven't been plotting little ways to try and..." her voice trailed off and she found herself wholly unable to mention sex in connection with her teenage daughter.

Sonny didn't argue with her. "I already told you, Tawni doesn't do girlfriends."

"She does _girls_, though. You meet the basic requirements."

"Whatever. I have to go to work."

* * *

"Has Tawni been by at all?" Sonny asked Nico and Grady as she entered the prop house.

"No," they replied in unison. They were both distracted with an intense game of Super Mario Brothers.

Zora pushed open her sarcophagus. "I haven't seen or heard her anywhere on my rounds."

"Your _rounds_?"

"Through the vents."

"Oh. Right."

Marshall entered then. "Alright guys, table read starts in an hour. I hope you've got some good ideas because Mr. Condor is still reeling from Friday's show. I figure if we find a way to blow 'em out of the water, we'll all be forgiven."

"Has Tawni been around?" Sonny asked. "Have you seen here since yesterday?"

"No, Sonny," he sighed. "She's off the show for now. Why would she hang around the set? I thought she was staying with you."

"She was, but she packed up her things and left before I got home yesterday. I haven't been able to find her and she won't answer her phone."

"Well, we have class tomorrow," Zora suggested. "She'll probably show up then... ah, who am I kidding? She'll totally cut class."

"Look, she isn't your responsibility, Sonny," Marshall said, attempting to be reassuring.

Sonny just shook her head and left the room.

Marshall sighed, no Tawni and a mopey Sonny were _not_ going to help ratings.

"Marshall," Grady stood up then, turning to his boss.

"Aw, man, G! You could have paused! You just ran into the mushroom without popping my bubble thing first. Now we have to start all over. And the steps to the flag were in sight!"

"Whatever, dude," he shrugged. "Marshall, I've been thinking and... I'm not doing the show without Tawni."

"What?"

"I'm not doing it," he repeated. "It's not right, what you're doing. And I know Tawni isn't always the nicest or the easiest to work with, and she _did_ make me floss her teeth for her once, but she's my friend all the same. So until Tawni's back, I'm out."

"Yeah," Nico stood up. "Yeah, me too."

"Me three," Zora joined in. "Besides, she does share her Coco Moco Coco with me. I mean, I steal it from her LipLock, but she tolerates the theft."

"You kids are taking this whole thing to places it does not need to go," Marshall groaned. "Just focus on this week's sketches, alright? I'll try and have Tawni back by next week, Ok?"

"When you have her back, let us know," Zora replied, crossing her arms and tilting her head to the side. "Until then, we're on strike."

She marched out of the room with determination, Grady and Nico following.

Marshall let out an aggravated sigh. "I knew the minute I hired Tawni that she'd be the one to drive me to _complete_ baldness."

He turned on his heel and hurried out of the room, contemplating what to tell Condor.

Seconds after he disappeared, Nico, Grady, and Zora all returned. The boys still had to defeat Bowser, after all.

* * *

Sonny slipped onto the Mackenzie Falls set in search of Chad.

He was in the middle of a scene of his nauseatingly addicting primetime drama, in which his alter-ego Mackenzie swore to keep a scandalous secret for a friend _and_ declared his love for the new leading lady _and_ confront his overbearing father for trying to tell him who to love. Or something like that.

Sonny barged right onto the set, as she typically did, much to Chad's dismay.

"You know, when you decided to give up this," he waved his hand over his face. "You gave up the right to interrupt my acting."

"This is important, Chad," she said, arms crossed.

He sighed. "Take five everybody."

His director grumbled something about finding a job where the actor just did the acting and the director did the directing and wandered off with the rest of the cast and crew, who always filmed entirely according to Chad's dictates.

"So?" he turned to Sonny.

"Tawni's missing."

"So?"

"She was staying with me, but she just...left. And she won't answer my calls. Her parents kicked her out. She has nowhere to go. And I'm worried."

"I missing the part where I should care...?"

"Chad, seriously, come on. Just... do you have any idea where she would go?"

"Why would_ I_ know-"

"Because you've known her for a long time. You helped her with the Penelope thing. I know you two aren't BFFs, alright? Your conflicting egos would never allow it. But you obviously have some sort of relationship with her."

Chad frowned before turning to shout to his cast and crew. "Make it an hour break. Be back later," he turned back to Sonny. "Come on."

She followed him to his dressing room and took a seat on his couch.

"Alright, so..." he hesitated, sitting down next to her. "Want some cocoa?"

"Chad."

"Ok, Tawni and me have been friends- well, not really _friends_-acquaintances rather, since we were six years old. We were on the Goody Gang together. And then a bunch of us from the Gang were put in homeschooling together, so we had our own little school, kind of. There were about fifteen of us. And neither me or Tawni ever got along well with the others kids usually, so we would play alone, but some times together. A lot of the time we'd play alone, but near each other, so people thought we each had a friend, but so we didn't have to actually tolerate each other, you know? Anyway, um, we... we sort of always kept in touch. And then we were both hired by Condor around the same time, so we..." he took a deep breath. "I told my parents I was gay when I was fourteen. And Tawni-"

"Wait, WHAT?"

"Tawni was already involved with... I mean, she'd already been with girls. I mean, I guess I didn't know that then. But I could just tell that she was... you know? Gaydar, I guess, right?"

"I wouldn't know, apparently," Sonny remarked.

"I knew about Tawni and when I told my dad... he... well, he didn't take it so well. He threw me out. And my mom let me come home. They got a divorce over it. She was never happy about it and I know she blames me for the divorce and... anyway, I moved out a fifteen. I got a lawyer and got emancipated. I had enough money at that point that it wasn't really an issue. My mom and I are fine now. I haven't talked to my dad in years. But when he threw me out, I went to Tawni. Because she wasn't a friend, but I knew she wouldn't think any differently of me for this. She wouldn't dislike me any more than she already did, right? Turns out she already knew anyway. She let me crash at her place for a few days until my mom let me come home. We even... fooled around a little. Testing, you know? Didn't do a thing for either of us, obviously."

Sonny sat there, completely dumbstruck.

Chad smirked. "There's a place on the coast, close to where I took you when I we were trying to have a romantic first kiss, that Tawni showed me back when I'd come out. It's close to her uncle Charlie's house and she'd found it when she was a little kid, before her parents learned Charlie was gay and stopped letting Tawni go over there. She still did, obviously, her parents just didn't know. She showed me and then we'd go there together some times, when either one of us was having a really bad day or something. We stopped doing that after a bit, but we both still go, separately. It's up above the beach on a bluff. You have to hike down about thirty feet to get to it. It's a place we both go to sometimes, when we need to be alone. It's very private. I almost took you there, but I changed my mind at the last minute and just took you down to the beach instead. Tawni is there now."

"And you're sure of that?" Sonny asked, still bewildered with all of this new information.

"I'm sure, "he nodded and held up his phone. "She texted me to stay away for a few days. We occasionally have run-ins there and she wants to avoid that right now. She doesn't want to talk about any of this. And if I was there, we'd talk, because there, we're friends."


	10. Moon Upon a Stick

**Chapter Ten: Moon Upon a Stick**

It was nearly dark when Chad dropped Sonny off in front of Tawni's uncle's house, pointing off to the side at a small trail. "Just follow that. It'll lead right down to it."

"And you're sure she'll be there now?"

"Yeah, she wouldn't head inside until late. Close to midnight probably, maybe even later with light from the full moon," he shrugged. "Are you sure _you _want to be there right now?"

"Tawni does stupid things when she's left alone for too long."

"Yeah, but if she wanted to talk to you, she'd have answered her phone."

"Why did you drive me out here if you didn't want me to talk to her?"

"I don't care if you talk with her or not, I'm just... I don't think she wants to talk. I told you where she was so you wouldn't worry. And I brought you here because you wanted me to. Doesn't mean I think it's a good idea. Tawni's a piece of work all around. Better to avoid getting caught up in it."

Without replying, Sonny turned and made her way toward the trail on the side of the house. She moved slowly, squinting to see any obstacles in her way in spite of the descending night. But it was a pretty clear footpath and, just as Chad said, it led down to a small, sandy clearing overlooking the ocean. Tawni was sitting in the middle of it, on a blanket, hugging her knees to her chest and staring out over the dark sea.

Sonny stepped quietly onto the sand, about six feet behind the blonde girl now, and stopped. "Tawni?"

Startled, the other girl twisted around suddenly, and though she couldn't see it, Sonny could actually _feel_ the glare on her face. "What the hell are _you_ doing here?"

"I- I wanted to make sure you were OK," Sonny tried, taking a step closer.

"Chad," Tawni muttered under her breath, whipping out her phone and quickly sending a text.

Moments later, Chad's phone let out a small chime indicating a received text message. He glanced down at the screen: "Motherfucker."

He laughed to himself and started the car. Sonny had made it then, no need for him to stay.

Tawni sighed. "I'm fine. "So, you know, go away."

Sonny frowned and continued forward, dropping down to sit cross-legged beside the other girl. "No. I'm not going to go away."

"There's nothing to talk about, Sonny."

"I'm still not leaving."

Tawni groaned, although she seemed somewhere in between annoyance and...something else. "Fine, you want to talk so badly, we'll talk.

"Ok, well, I just think-"

"We're not going to talk about_ that_," Tawni interrupted. "We're going to talk about sex."

"What? Why? You need to-"

"You need to stop telling me what I need to do. Now, I had this girl over today and we took a shower together and it got me thinking about you."

"About me? You were thinking about me while you were in the shower with another girl?" Sonny was both perplexed and a little proud of this fact. She was also fairly certain Tawni had only chosen this topic because she wanted to make Sonny uncomfortable _while_ she simultaneously diverted the conversation from what really mattered-a killing two birds with one stone sort of thing.

"No, it was just... it was really good, you know? This girl was... just really good. And I was curious. You've only been with Lucy. And she's just...alright... basically, I wanted to know about your _best_ time."

"What? No, that's-"

"Come on, of all the times you and Lucy fucked, which one was the best."

"I'm not having this conversation."

"Yes, yes you are."

"Tawni-"

"Excellent as today's Girl #3 was, my best time was with Maria Delgato, last year, in the fall. We were outside, actually. In a park. She _knew her stuff_, let me tell you. I met her in the commissary and she told me to meet her at the park down the street. It was around dusk, not many people were out, and we were back in that semi-grove thing. It's not a very big park and there's almost no privacy, but we managed to get by not being seen. At least, as far as I know. Which is impressive because I was pretty loud. I'm not usually. That might surprise you. But I'm not that loud. But I was then. It was too fantastic not to be, you know? She had me pinned up against this tree- I had bruises on my back _for days_ afterwards- and she was down on her knees-"

"Stop! Stop, stop, stop!" Sonny snapped. "I don't want to hear about this. And I'm not going to tell you all about my...experiences with Lucy."

"That bad, huh?"

"What? No. Tawni... I came here to make sure you were alright and to-"

"I'm fine."

"No you aren't. No matter how many times you want to say you are, you aren't. You're lonely and you're scared and-"

"What makes you think you know me so well?" Tawni cut her off, her voice colder than usual.

Sonny didn't respond.

"That's what I thought," Tawni scoffed. "None of you know me. Not really."

"Some of us _want _to," Sonny mumbled, eyes downcast, staring at nothing in particular.

"Why?" Tawni asked, her voice dripping with disdain. "So you can 'save me'? Make me a better person?"

"No, so I can... know you. I just want to know you," Sonny did her best to sound strong and resolved, no matter how biting the other girl's tone. "I care about you, Tawni. A lot."

This time it was Tawni who didn't reply.

"Why are you so determined to do this all on your own?"

Tawni smirked to herself in the darkness. "I'm a Hart. We don't need other people."

"Everybody needs-"

"No, not everyone. People like you, Sonny. You need other people. You need to bond and cuddle and be all loving with people. I don't. I'm fine. I would have moved out of my parents house in a year anyway, what's it matter that I do it now? I've already found a place. I'm just waiting on my attorney to help me get my money. That's it."

"That's not what I meant."

"I'm staying with my Uncle Charlie until then," Tawni continued. "He doesn't like me bringing girls home. Says I'm too young to be 'tricking'. But he doesn't do anything about it either. And he works late at the bar most nights, so I can have them out of here before he gets home anyway."

"You've been gone one night, Tawni," Sonny shook her head, not seeing how Tawni had already worked out these sorts of details. "How many girls have you had around already?"

"Just four."

"_Just_ four?" Sonny couldn't contain her shock, and slight disgust, though she tried to cover. "I mean, that's... as long as you're OK with being so...free...which you obviously are...what I mean is..."

"I know I'm a slut, honey, you don't need to try and sugarcoat it. I wouldn't have myself any other way."

"You're not a slut," Sonny replied, more because she hated the word than because she had any solid argument against Tawni's self-applied label.

"Whatever you say," the blonde shrugged. "The point is, I'm fine here until I can move into my own place. I'll be sure to call you and the boys to help move my things. Tawni Hart doesn't do heavy lifting."

"We've all refused to do the show without you," Sonny said. "It was Grady's idea."

"The show won't last without me anyway," Tawni scoffed. "I'm the biggest star on it."

"The biggest ego on it, at least," Sonny mumbled, shooting a half-grin at her co-star.

"They go hand-in-hand."

A few moments of silence followed, before Sonny tried again. "Listen, Tawni, I think you should-"

"I don't want to talk about this with you. Or anyone. I'd still rather you leave, but if you're going to stay, be quiet."

Sonny sighed. "Alright. We can just sit here then. I won't say another-" She stopped mid-sentence, again feeling the other girl's glare.

She turned her attention to the sea and was soon transfixed by the gentle rumble of the churning waves below, the comforting sound of that potentially deadly crush, that strange tranquility that the ocean possessed in spite of its overwhelming danger. It draws you in, encompasses you so completely, and drowns you. There's no resistance. No chance. And very little choice. It's a lot like love, she mused.

Several more minutes past before Sonny broke her revelry and turned her attention back to Tawni. She was startled to catch in the moonlight a glimmer, a streak, down the cheek of the other girl. A tear. At least one had gotten away in spite of her better efforts. It struck Sonny as strange that Tawni would cry and whine over the stupidest little things, all the time, and yet, if she was really, truly hurting, she did her best to hide it- she was only ashamed of her tears if her pain was real.

Sonny took a deep breath and wordlessly reached over, grasping Tawni's hand and squeezing it tightly.

To her surprise, Tawni didn't object.

Nearly an hour passed before either girl spoke, or even so much as shifted positions.

"It's getting cold," Tawni's voice was barely above a whisper. "Let's go inside."

Sonny nodded and got to her feet.

Tawni didn't let go of her hand and the two of them made their way up to the house. With her free hand, she made every effort to wipe any trace of her tears from her face before they came in range of the front lights. She pulled a key out of her pocket and unlocked the door and let them inside.

"This is a really nice house," Sonny noted.

Tawni didn't answer. She simply pulled Sonny along behind her, leading her down the stairs, down a hallway, and to another door. She opened it. Inside, all the clothes and things she'd taken from her dressing room were strewn about the floor, a few on the unmade bed (who has time to make the bed between four different girls?). She still hadn't bothered to go home and get any of her things left there.

"I'll go to your house and get your things for you," Sonny offered. "I mean, I understand if you don't want to go back there."

Still no words from Tawni, but this time the blonde turned to face her, an unusual look on her face, and let go of her hand at last.

"What?" Sonny asked, wondering if she had said something wrong.

Tawni took a deep breath and closed the door behind them.

"Tawni, are you OK?" Sonny asked, growing more nervous. "I know I'm not supposed to talk, but-"

"I'm fine," she answered, smirking slightly, before her hands shot up from her sides and grabbed Sonny's whole head, pulling the dark-haired girl in for a hard and deep kiss.

Wrestling Sonny's jacket off, Tawni moved the both of them back toward her bed, pushing the other girl down and straddling her before pulling off her own top.

Sonny was out-of-breath and wide-eyed, a little unsure if this was an intelligent decision, but wholly unable to resist the draw, the crush of this overwhelming ocean.


	11. It Won't Take Root

**A/N:** I'm going to be out of town for a few days and quite busy in general for the next week, so it'll probably be a little longer than usual before my next update. Typically, I try to update within 24 hours of receiving new review #3, but that may not be the case for the next update. Might be a week or week and a half this time. Just a heads up so no one thinks I've fallen off the face of the earth and/or abandoned fic. :) Thanks!

**Chapter Eleven: It Won't Take Root**

Sonny awoke to the swelling sound of the waves, somehow lacking the same threat they had the night before. She blinked a few times, her eyes adjusting to the morning light, before rolling over and realizing she was alone in the bed. She sat up, pulling the sheet around her naked body and glanced around, finding her clothes haphazardly thrown about. _A shower would be nice_, she thought.

Just then the door opened, and where Sonny expected to see Tawni, she instead saw a tall, blond man. He tilted his head to the side and gave her a look somewhere between dismay and amusement. "You're one of Tawn's costars, right?" he asked, flicking his fingers as though it would bring her name to memory, which apparently it did. "Sonny Munroe?"

"Yes," she nodded blushing terribly. "Um, you must be Charlie?"

He nodded. "Tawn left already. She got called into the studio for something. Didn't want to wake you, I guess. I'll be leaving soon and can give you a lift. I work close enough."

"Thank you," Sonny replied, still very aware of the fact that she was naked.

He smirked. "Don't worry about it. You aren't the first one I've found like this- and Tawn's only been here two nights. Shower's down the hall. We'll leave in half an hour."

He closed the door and Sonny scrambled out of the bed, grabbing her clothes in a bunch and making her way down the hall to the shower and quickly shutting the bathroom door behind her. She dropped her clothes to the floor and turned the shower on, stepping over to the sink to brush her teeth while the water heated up. A picture frame by the sink caught her eye- Charlie and a little blonde girl, no older than 4 or 5, but with those same green eyes that had seared into Sonny the night before.

Looking at herself in the mirror a moment, she counted a few faint yet telling bruises about her neck, shoulders, and breasts. She smiled.

When she stepped into the shower, she felt a sting on her back and twisted her body to find four parallel scratch marks, about six inches long. She smirked. _Oh, right._

* * *

"You know, Sonny's been freaking out looking for you," Nico informed Tawni as she entered the prop house.

She shrugged, seeming genuinely uninterested.

"We've formed a united front against Condor," Zora announced.

"Which is a terribly stupid idea," Marshall entered.

Tawni turned to greet him with a half-hearted nod. "You called me?"

"Yeah, to talk this dimwits out of sacrificing their careers and mine for you."

"We are doing what's right," Grady said, standing up on the couch. "I've watched enough Disney Channel Original Series in my day to learn to stand up for what's right and be true to yourself!"

"Dude, Ixnay on the Isneyday Annelchay."

"What?"

"He doesn't want you to announce that you guys actually watch the Disney Channel," Zora explained. "Because you guys are seventeen and it's too lame, even for me."

"How many gay kids are on the Disney Channel?" Marshall grumbled.

"I have my suspicions about some of their stars," Tawni mused.

"None, the answer is none. Being true to yourself is only OK when yourself is the right kind of self. That's what Disney teaches, OK?" he snapped. "Now, I honestly don't care, Tawni, I really don't. But society does. The viewers do. And there's no need to pull the show down with you."

"Yes, but would it be in-character for me to discourage people from benefiting me at great personal cost to themselves?"

"Listen, kids, Mr. Condor is going to be here any second now. He is _not_ happy. At all. Just... think about what you're doing, OK?" he turned and left, every bit as annoyed as when he'd entered.

When she was sure Marshall was out of earshot, Grady turned toward Tawni. "I'm still not working without you."

"Same here," Zora answered.

"Me three," Nico chimed in. "And I'm pretty sure Sonny will stand by us too."

Tawni was genuinely touched by her cast mates dedication, but she wasn't about to thank them. "I don't expect you guys to do this, you know. I probably wouldn't do the same for you."

"Ha, forget 'probably', you _definitely_ wouldn't do the same for us," Nico said, grinning.

Zora nodded in agreement. "But we've always been nicer people than you."

Tawni smiled. "Well, I didn't ask you to, so don't think I owe you anything for this. This is your choice and it's not on me."

"She right, this is your choice," Mr. Condor stormed in, Marshall stumbling in behind him. "And it's a stupid decision you seem to be making. I haven't even fired her. She's on temporary leave. You could at least wait and see what happens before jumping to action."

"My dad says you're just stalling and figuring out a way to let her go without setting yourself up for a discrimination lawsuit," Nico countered.

"I have made no decisions yet," Condor argued. "I'm working out what is best for my business. That is my job, my responsibility. You kids needs to grow up and recognize that. This isn't personal. It's business. That's the way life works."

"I think you need-" Grady started, only to be cut off by Condor angrily stomping his foot.

"I DON'T CARE WHAT YOU THINK!" he bellowed. "I can hire an all-new cast, no problem, if I need to. You are all replaceable. _Easily_ replaceable. Understand? The show is going on hiatus for the next three weeks now. You have one week to decide what you're going to do- quit your jobs or keep them. That's the choice."

He whirled around and marched out of the room just as angrily as he'd entered it.

"Whoa," Grady said, letting out a long-held breath. "This is really bad."

"No shit, Sherlock," Zora quipped.

"Hey!" Grady replied, startled. "You are not allowed to use that language!"

"I'm going to call my dad," Nico offered, reassuringly patting Tawni on the shoulder.

She shrugged in response, not really seeing the point in any of this. They were just prolonging the inevitable at this point. She picked up her bag and made to leave the room.

"Where are you going?" he asked.

"To make myself feel better," she replied. "There's a new girl who works in make up."

* * *

Charlie dropped Sonny off outside the studio and she thanked him before hurrying in. He was pleasant enough to talk to, not to mention he was the first Hart she'd met who seemed like a normal human being.

On her way in, as she passed by the Mackenzie Falls set, she couldn't help but notice cartloads of flowers being wheeled into the set. She followed, running into Chad inside. "What's all this?"

"Oh, there's a wedding this week. Only it turns out the bride and groom are half-siblings and the priest is the flower girl's biological father."

"Uh huh," Sonny nodded, amazed that she herself had actually been sucked into the melodrama of Mackenzie Falls at one point, a clear moment of weakness on her part, obviously. "Could I maybe have a couple?"

"Of the flowers?" he asked.

"Yeah, you have a million."

"What for?"

"I want to give them to someone."

"Tawni? Oh no. You didn't. Tell me you didn't sleep with her."

"I-I just want-"

"I should've known," he shook his head. "That look on your face... I've seen it before. On an alarming number of my Mack Falls leading ladies. And extras. And crew members. Why can't Tawni ever keep her hands and tongue to herself? Huh? Why?"

"I'm going to take a couple," Sonny said, patronizingly patting him on the head before grabbing a few flowers.

"Sonny, seriously, did you?" he asked, seeming uncharacteristically concerned.

"How would it be any of your business if I had?"

He just kept shaking his head. "This is not good, Sonny."

She rolled her eyes and left the set, three long-stemmed white roses in hand.

* * *

"That was incredible," the girl from the makeup department said, as she zipped up her jeans.

"Uh huh," Tawni replied, uninterestedly, as she reapplied her Coco Moco Coco. It hadn't been terrible. Incredible? Meh. Not even in her top hundred. But whatever.

"I'm going to write my number down right over here," Makeup Girl said, jotting it down on a notepad from Sonny's side of the room. It had a cow on it and said "Things to ReMOOmber". _So _not Tawni's.

Makeup Girl clasped her bra on and made her way over to Tawni again, wrapping her arms around her from behind. "Are you busy tonight?"

"Yeah, actually, lots of plans," Tawni replied, turning around. "I'll call you, though, when I'm free."

She smiled and leaned in for another kiss, one which Tawni was not all that interested in giving. But lucky for her, she was saved by the bell, figuratively anyway- it was actually the door opening that pulled both of their attention away.

Sonny stood there, three flowers in hand, hanging dejectedly at her side, looking utterly shell-shocked.

"Could you maybe give us a moment?" Makeup Girl asked, a little perturbed by the interruption.

"No, it's OK," Tawni said. "This is her room too."

"Oh, well, ok then," Makeup Girl was clearly disappointed. She grabbed her shirt off the floor and pulled it on quickly, grabbing her bag and walking passed Sonny, turning back to Tawni just before leaving. "Remember, call me." She closed the door after leaving.

A few awkward moments crept by before Tawni finally spoke up. "Pretty flowers."

"Yeah," Sonny replied flatly. "There's a wedding at the Falls and I just thought I'd snag a couple for my vanity."

Tawni nodded. "I should go get some too."

"There's lots."

Tawni tilted her head to the side. "You still mad at me for bringing girls here? Because you're really just going to have to get used to it, sweetie."

"No, I mean, yes, but no..." she felt tears forming in her eyes, in spite of her best efforts to keep them at bay.

"Sonny?"

"Nothing, I'm fine. I just... I needed to... I wanted to drop these off," she shook her head, carelessly tossing the flowers on her vanity. "Then I'm going to go...somewhere...else."

She hurried out of the room, nearly slamming the door behind her.

Tawni moved toward the middle of the room, picking up the notepad with Makeup Girl's number on it. She tore it off, crumpled it up, and tossed it in the trash can. She dropped down onto the sofa, unsure of what to do with herself at the moment. She looked over toward Sonny's side of the room and sighed, actually feeling the slightest tinge of something bothersome inside- guilt.


	12. Empty Space Inside My Heart

**A/N:** Haha, managed to have some time to write after all. That and my kitty is asleep on my lap and I don't want to wake him up and get The Look if I dare move away from the computer. Also, I skimmed my last chapter- "swelling sound of the ways"- wtf? I fixed that. I don't normally fix the undoubtedly abundant typos, but since I saw that one, I couldn't very well leave it, could I? I'd lose sleep over that one.

**Chapter Twelve: Empty Space Inside My Heart**

"You know, it's true," Nico said, leaning back on the prop house sofa after successfully blowing Grady's digital alter-ego to smithereens.

"What's true?" Grady asked.

"That Tawni wouldn't stand up for us the way we are for her," he replied. "I mean, if it affected her directly, maybe, but if it was just me in trouble? Or just you, or Zora, or Sonny. She'd let us take the fall and she wouldn't lose a minute of sleep over it."

"I don't know, man," Grady shrugged. "I think Tawni would step up if it was something important. I think she cares about all of us, she just doesn't like to show it. And besides, this is about right and wrong. If Chad Dylan Pooper was actually gay and he was having this problem, I'd be saying the same thing, even though we're obviously not friends with him either."

"He's right," Zora chimed in, appearing at the top of the slide in the back of the room. "It's the principle of the matter." She slid down to the ground and joined them. "That said, my parents are pretty upset about it. They don't want me jeopardizing my career over someone else's mistake."

"Mistake?" Nico turned around. "You know, it's not my place, but Tawni didn't choose to be-"

"Yeah, yeah, I know that. But she did choose to announce it to everyone."

"Interviewers are always asking us who we're dating and if we're dating and whatever. Our love lives aren't private. So why should Tawni's be?"

Zora shrugged. "Because she's getting in trouble for it. Right or wrong is irrelevant. That's the way it is."

"And it's our job to change that!"

"No, your job is to make kids laugh," Marshall countered as he entered the room. "Social reform isn't anywhere in your contract."

"Yeah, but Marshall, Tawni has been on So Random! for six years! How can you just throw her out?"

"She's on _temporary leave_! How many times do I need to say that? She _hasn't been fired_. If you would all just calm down and let us work this whole mess out..."

"Condor threatened to fire us all!"

"For being unreasonable, not for being gay or anything else. You are being an unreasonable cast. We've got parents actually protesting the studio outside. With signs! Don't you understand where Condor is coming from at all? This is his business and this is causing a whole heap of trouble for him. And never mind Condor, think of your fans! You think they want you off the show?"

Sonny walked in then, moving quickly, followed by Chad. "I told you it was a bad idea, Sonny!"

"Chad, will you just leave me alone? I don't want to talk about this with you. Or anyone, ok?"

"No, it's not ok, I've seen what she does to girls. She's a- a woman-eater. No, wait, no...that doesn't sound right. Though it's true either way I guess."

"Chad!"

"Excuse me, you two," Marshall interjected. "Could you take the couple's spat outside, we're trying to have a business related conversation. I'd love for you to join in, but since everyone is so fixated on their personal lives these days, I don't expect you to take work seriously when there's romantic drama to be had."

"We're not a couple," Sonny quipped.

"She slept with Tawni!" he exclaimed.

"Chad!" she snapped at him, her cheeks flushing red.

"Dude, really?" Grady asked, clearly enamored with the prospect.

"Ooh, that probably was a bad idea," Nico nodded. "Hot. But a bad idea."

"Oh my gosh..." Sonny shook her head and hurried toward the fridge, looking for a bottle of water.

"Personal drama it is then," Marshall threw his hands up in defeat and stormed out.

"So are you two...like...dating?" Zora asked, uncharacteristically hesitant.

"No, of course not, it's Tawni!" Chad yelled, turning back to his ex-beard. "And you're Sonny. It was a stupid thing to do. You sonny'd things up good this time. Real good."

"I don't want to talk about this!"

"He's right though, Sonny," Nico said. "And you know I don't agree with Chad lightly."

"Nico-"

"Well, this _is_ going to make things weird... isn't it?"

"What part of me not wanting to talk about this-"

"She was getting her flowers- roses- over at Mack Falls, we're having a wedding this week. So clearly she thinks this was more than just sex. But I guarantee Tawni thinks it was just sex because that's all Tawni does."

"What's all I do?" Tawni asked, coming in just for the tail end of the conversation.

"Nothing," Sonny replied quickly, taking a lengthy swig from her water bottle.

Chad tilted his head and looked at her apologetically before turning to Tawni. "You fucked her, didn't you?" he pointed back at Sonny with his thumb.

Tawni half-smiled and crossed her arms. "Seriously? That's what you're arguing about? How is that anyone's business?"

"It's not," Sonny remarked. "I have to go."

"No, because you're my friend. I don't have many friends," Chad said, gently grabbing Sonny by the arm as she tried to leave. "Because I'm almost as heartless as Tawni and I push everyone away. But you are my friend, Sonny, and I know that things aren't alright with you. So we're going to fix this."

Sonny shook her head aggressively, but said nothing.

"'Fix this'? Fix what?" Tawni asked, though a telling look toward Sonny made it pretty clear she was fully aware of what he was talking about.

"Interesting as this all is, guys," Zora interjected. "We need to get to class STAT or Bitterman's going to be more bitter than usual."

Grady and Nico looked at her with amusement before realizing she was just trying to get them out of the room so that Sonny and Tawni- and apparently Chad- could have an Important Conversation. Grudgingly, they followed her out of the room.

Tawni repeated her question. "Fix what?"

"This whole situation!"

The blonde shook her head. "Get out Chad."

"No, not until-"

"This is _none_ of your business."

"That's not the-"

"Just go Chad," Sonny finally spoke up. "I can take care of myself."

He hesitated a moment before sighing and nodding. He turned to leave. He stopped by Tawni on his way out, parted his lips to say something, but then thought better of it and continued on his way.

"So..." Tawni started moving over to the other side of the bar separating the fridge from the rest of the room. "What needs fixin'?"

"Nothing. I don't know what they-"

"Because I told you I don't do _girlfriends_. I made my attitudes about sex more than clear, so what happened last night shouldn't have given you any other ideas."

Finding it difficult to make eye contact, and even harder to breathe, Sonny fixed her eyes intently on her shoes. "Why did you... I mean...you also made it clear that you'd never sleep with me."

"So? You were there. I was upset. It seemed like the thing to do. To take my mind off everything."

"Just another distraction."

"Sonny-"

"You said you wouldn't sleep with me because you didn't sleep with friends."

"Yeah, 'cause then _this_ happens."

"Right, but you did. So... how can it just be the same as every other..."

"It was just sex, Sonny! It was just for fun, just to...feel good."

"To feel good for a moment? And feel miserable now?"

"If you insist on feeling miserable, that's not my problem. I didn't lead you on."

"Right, you're right. My mistake," Sonny's hurt was quickly turning to anger. "I'm sorry I bothered to care about you at all. I'm a real idiot." Her eyes focused on Tawni now, burning with accusation counter to her words, she made her way around the bar and toward the door.

"Sonny-" Tawni started, though she wasn't exactly sure what she wanted to say.

"I won't make that mistake again, Tawni. I promise," Sonny left the prop house, her chest feeling like it has been twisted into a knot, a tight snarl of rage like she'd never felt before.

Zora, Nico, and Grady all appeared atop the slide then, glaring down at Tawni. Eavesdropping was a favorite pastime of the Randoms, after all. One by one, the slid down to the floor.

"Yeah, I'm not really so sure I want to risk my career over you actually," Grady said bitterly, before making his way out of the room.

"You've gone too far this time, Tawni," Nico remarked coldly, crossing his arms and standing firm in front of her. "And Sonny's like the only person that's ever just tolerated you as you are. She's the only person who hasn't gotten so fed up with how much of a bitch you can be. She always somehow managed to see the good. None of us did, but she did. And now you wore her down too. Nice work."

Zora approached her with that certain swagger she had when she was just about to throw out some biting sarcastic comment. But instead, she just shook her head, at a loss for words, and left the room.

Tawni frowned, turning to leave herself, only to run into Chad in the doorway. "You want to give your two cents too?"

"Look, I'm as much of a bitch as you are, ok? We're on the same wavelength. Sonny isn't like us. She's sweet. And you shouldn't have-"

"I know, alright? I just..."

"What?"

"I don't have anyone, Chad. My parents want nothing to do with me. My whole family is pretending like I don't exist, except Charlie, but he works all the time, so it's not... I don't have anyone to talk to or just...just be with. And Sonny was there and I was upset and I just... I did what I do. It was what I needed then. And she wanted it. And I know that's not... I know I shouldn't have done it. But," she hesitated. "I just wanted to be with someone who actually cared about me."

He smirked. "But you 'don't do girlfriends'."

"I don't, and that's not changing, but Sonny's my friend. She's my best friend and it just... it felt right. So it...I... it's not like she didn't enjoy it. Believe me, she did."

"Yeah, well, with the experience you've got, I'm sure you make a good show of yourself."

"I do."

"That's not what any of this is about, though."

"You're an idiot and just as selfish as I am, so why are you suddenly acting like this? All concerned?"

"Because I care about Sonny. And because," he shrugged. "I'm lonely. And you're me. And if you can figure out how to be happy then maybe someday I can too."

Tawni sighed, crossing her arms. "What am I supposed to do, then? I don't do girlfriends. But I... I can't lose Sonny. She's the only one who puts up with me."

"Well, she _was_."

"I don't want a girlfriend. But I want my best friend back."

Chad shrugged. "That's why you don't use friends for casual fucks- I mean, if that's really what it was last night. Doesn't exactly sound like it, but whatever."

"What's that supposed to mean?"

He shrugged again. "Just fix this Tawni. Sonny doesn't deserve this from you."

"Says the guy who had a double go on dates for him. And ordered a recount when his girlfriend's show beat his."

"Yeah, well, like I said, I'm a jerk too. And we've both managed to make Sonny think we're better than we are. We're the same, Tawni. I would take back my recount if I could. I might not want Sonny back for anything more than a beard, but I realized how much of an ass I was anyway."

She nodded and he left the room.

The rest of the day dragged by. Zora and the boys went over sketch ideas at lunch and Tawni sat alone. Sonny was nowhere to be found. They had school after lunch, and she was a no-show. Tawni hooked up with an extra from a new pilot being shot on the adjacent stage during a little break between classes. It was less than spectacular.

Shortly after dark, Tawni left the studio. Part of her just wanted to go home, but she decided to stop by her uncle's bar and have a drink first. Something to take the edge of this miserable day. She cut down through the same darkened alleyway she'd walked hundreds of times before, only this time something seemed different- it was as if it was darker than usual. There was a strange heaviness in the air that made the hairs on the back of her neck stand on end.

She heard heavy footsteps and turned around to face the dark forms of two men. "Hey, blondie."

"My kid used to watch your show, you know," one of them spoke up, she couldn't see their lips.

"I tell you, this whole country is going to hell in a hand basket with people like you out to corrupt our children."

"What?" Tawni managed.

"Don't worry. We're not going to do what you think. A lot of guys would. Would wanna show you what you're missing. But I'm a family man. And I don't want to dirty myself by touching you that way, not you or any of your kind."

Admittedly, she felt a moment's relief at that, but only a moment's.

One of the men stepped closer, and Tawni turned to run. She made it about two steps before one of them grabbed her by the arm and shoved her whole body into the side of the building.


	13. Listen to Your Heart

**A/N:** So, I totally wrote about a thousand words of this and then the site decided I wasn't logged in and lost everything. :( As a result this bloody chapter took me twice as long to write! And then it just sat here, waiting for just one more review, for almost three days. So thanks **anonyreader**. Your review literally _just _popped into my inbox and I immediately came over here to update. And obvious thanks to the other reviewers as well!

**Chapter Thirteen: Listen to Your Heart  
**

The throbbing ache of her pulse felt as though it would bust her head clear open. Traffic buzzed nearby. She blinked her eyes a few times, her blurry vision adjusting to the darkened alleyway. They had knocked both of her contacts out. Slowly, she pushed herself up from the dirty ground, disgusted with the sticky blood and grime she could feel caking her clothes. She leaned against the brick wall and got to her feet. The blood rushed to her head and her vision momentarily blackened. After several deep breaths, she began to fumble around for her purse and her car keys. But they were not to be found.

She cursed under her breath, tears stinging her eyes, as much for frustration as for the pain she felt in her head and all over her body. She turned back in the direction of the studio, where she could change and shower. She certainly didn't want to risk being seen looking so disheveled and unkempt. She couldn't be anything less than fabulous when in public view. She took one shaky step forward, when the studio door opened a block away and Nico and Grady came out. She stepped back, hiding in the shadows, and watched as they turned down another, well-lit sidewalk and disappeared. She didn't want to be seen this way by them either. Or by any of her coworkers, for that matter. She turned the other way, toward Charlie's bar. He would be working, but she knew he would freak out if she showed up like this. She staggered down through the alleyway, and turned left at the end, making her way to the bus stop. Tawni Hart hated riding buses- it was something only the car-less did, as far as she was concerned. And yet, she found herself gingerly boarding the bus, dropping the few coins she had in her pockets, and making her way to a seat in the back of the almost empty vehicle. Silently, she stared at the floor, hugging herself tightly in an effort to relieve her pain somewhat. She didn't have enough money for the fare, not enough by half even, but the driver was so taken aback by her appearance he did not question her. He watched her carefully in his mirrors as he made his way down the road, praying she wouldn't keel over on his watch.

* * *

"So Marshall called me yesterday," Connie said, tapping her fingers against her coffee mug and peering across the table at her daughter.

Sonny shoveled a spoonful of cereal into her mouth to avoid having to respond. She had typically always been able to be open with her mother, but lately she had found it increasingly difficult to talk with her. In part because all Connie seemed to do was insist that Sonny stay closeted, not that she had done anything to really suggest she was planning on coming out anyway. That or warn her against involvement with Tawni- which Sonny couldn't discuss with her now because it seemed her mother had been right and, like any self-respecting teenage girl, she wasn't about to admit that.

Sonny had come home last night furious with Tawni-and her mother could tell. She might not have known the exact root of the rage, but Sonny rarely got angry and never like that. And somehow, Connie had known it had _something_ to do with the ridiculous blonde, and in fact, given Sonny's failure to come home at all the night before last, maybe Connie had put two-and-two together...

Connie continued, pulling Sonny out from her contemplations. "He told me about you guys all boycotting the show until Tawni's let back on. And while I think that's noble of you, are you really sure it's the best thing to do? I mean, do you really want to risk everything over this?"

"You say it like _this_ is something trivial, it's not."

"I know, honey, but being on So Random! was your dream. We moved two-thousand miles so you could pursue it. And I know you have what it takes to be successful here- you're talented and beautiful and smart. I don't want you to throw everything away over this. I don't want you to lose your chance at having everything you deserve, Sonny. I know this isn't a good situation. I know it's not fair or just or right, but it is what it is and I just want you to understand what you're risking here. I've looked at some of the fan sites, people are already discussing whether or not you're..."

"What? Gay?" Sonny asked, a little amused by her mother's hesitation to say the word out loud.

"Sonny-"

"'Cause I _am_, remember?" she scooped up another spoonful.

"I know that, but the rest of the world doesn't need to know it. It's none of their business."

"They felt it was their business when I was dating Chad."

"I know, but-"

"I haven't made up my mind about how I'm going to handle the whole So Random! situation yet," Sonny interrupted, really not wanting to discuss it anyway. "You're going to be late for work."

Connie glanced at her wristwatch. "Oh, geez!"

She rose from her seat and put her mug in the sink. "Have a good day," she said, kissing Sonny on the top of her head like she did every day, before grabbing her purse and coat and heading toward the door.

When she opened it, she gasped, startled at the sight of Tawni, huddled down on the floor, hugging her knees to her chest. The blonde looked up at her, dark bruises formed around her eyes and lips, small cuts everywhere, leaking tiny traces of red, and a sticky mess of blood tangled in her hair. "Oh good Lord, Tawni!" Connie dropped down to her knees. "What happened? I should call 911. No. I'll just take you to the emergency room myself. Come on."

"No, I'm fine. I just need a shower."

"Tawni, you are _not_ fine," Connie shook her head, brow furrowed.

"It's just cuts and bruises. You guys have a first-aid kid, right? Sonny has , like, three hidden around the set, just in case, so you have to have one here."

"You should still get checked out, honey. Now either I'm taking you or I'm calling an ambulance."

"Oh my gosh," Sonny appeared in the doorway behind her mother. "What happened? Was this your dad? We have to call the police!"

"No, it wasn't him. I don't know who it was. Can I just use your shower?" Tawni grumbled, pushing herself to her feet again.

"You're going to the hospital, Tawni, that's final," Connie insisted, blocking the blonde from entering their home.

"I'm coming too," Sonny replied, grabbing her coat and shutting the door behind them. Somewhere inside, she was still angry with Tawni, but in the girl's current state, how could she really stay mad? Any rage would have to go on the back burner for a bit. Tawni probably planned it this way. It was the second time now she'd upset Sonny, only to show up bruised and beaten at her door. She could be a master manipulator when she wanted to be.

"I don't need to go-"

"Tawni, it looks like you hit your head pretty hard, you need to have it checked out. We just want to make sure you're ok," Connie explained.

"I don't need-"

Sonny half smiled. "You'll want a few stitches for some of those cuts otherwise you might have some bad scars."

Suddenly wide-eyed with horror, Tawni looked to Connie for confirmation. "Is it really _that_ bad?"

"Possibly bleeding into your brain and you don't want to go, but possible having a couple scars, and _now_ you're freaked out?"

* * *

"I knew we should've called an ambulance," Connie said, angrily. "If you come in an ambulance, you're treated immediately. If you walk-in, you have to wait for hours."

"Will that affect the scars? I can't have scars. I'm too pretty for scars."

Connie rolled her eyes. "I'm going to go see how long this is going to take."

"They already told us," Sonny said, though her mother didn't listen and wandered off anyway. She turned her attention back to Tawni. "So what happened?"

Tawni shook her head. "Just some guys. Some of the protesters, I think. They said I was corrupting their children and then they just... attacked me."

Sonny hesitated a moment. "Did- did they...?"

"No, thank God," Tawni replied, her voice low. "At least, I don't think so. I was unconscious for part of it."

"You should probably have a kit, just in case," Sonny whispered.

"No, it's...they didn't. I'd be sore...or something. Wouldn't I?"

"I don't know. Probably. But just to be safe. If they did, you don't know if they used protection or-"

"I don't want to talk about this," Tawin shook her head again.

Sonny sighed and remained silent for several seconds before speaking up again. "Why didn't you knock?"

"Huh?"

"You were just sitting on the floor outside of the apartment. Why didn't you knock?"

"Oh," she seemed to ponder it a moment. "I was going to. They took my keys and I didn't want to freak Charlie out at the bar or Marshall or anyone at the studio. It was closer to get to your place by bus than to get out to Charlie's-"

"_You _took the bus?"

"Yeah, and it was gross. But then, I'm completely disgusting right now too, so it fit," she sneered. "I got to your door and I was going to knock, but I didn't."

"Why not?"

Tawni hesitated, and when she replied, her voice was barely above whisper. "I didn't think you'd let me in."

Connie returned with three coffees in hand. "How are you feeling, Tawni?"

"I've had better days," she said, forcing a smile.

Connie nodded sympathetically. "Now don't take this the wrong way, but maybe you could tell Sonny that_ this_ is exactly why coming out in public was a mistake. I mean, it's obvious enough, but perhaps if she knew you probably wouldn't have done it if you'd known this is what it would be like, she can stop moping around and get back to focusing on her career and aspirations."

"Mom!" Sonny snapped. "This is _so _not the time for this."

"Sonny, until I know for sure that you're going to act sensibly about all of this, it's always going to be the time for it. You've always acted with your heart before your head and you can't do that here- ouch, damn it," Connie jumped up from her seat, dropping her cup and trying to wipe the hot liquid off her lap. She rushed off in a huff to find some paper towels.

"I'm sorry about that-"Sonny started.

"I think your mom just called you dumb," Tawni smirked.

"That's not what she-"

"I wouldn't, though."

"What? Call me dumb?"

"No, I'd do that. If I could go back in time and do things differently, I wouldn't. At least, not as far as coming out is concerned. It's better. It just... it feels better. Maybe not at this particular moment, but overall. I can be a bitch and I don't care if people don't like me for it. So I can be gay and be hated for that too. I don't need to be liked. Praised? Sure. Complimented? Of course. Envied? Most definitely. But I don't really care if people _like_ me or not. And anyone who wouldn't like me for this isn't someone worthy of my company anyway."

"Hart, Tawni?" a nurse called out, and the two of them got to their feet. The whole waiting room went quiet and at least half the people's attention turned to Tawni. There was a swift eruption of whispers then_- the actress?- from that kids show?- don't let them watch anymore- wonder what happened- the dyke?_

Tawni pursed her lips and limped over to the nurse.

"Tawni?" Sonny called after her.

The blonde glanced back over her shoulder.

"I'll always let you in."


	14. Just to Feed Your FastBallooning Head

**Chapter Fourteen: Just to Feed Your Fast-Ballooning Head**

Sonny wandered around the Mackenzie Falls set somewhat aimlessly. Chad would arrive any minute now, she figured, and she could get a few words in with him before he started filming.

The past week had been a hectic one. Tawni's trip to the hospital had ended up being front-page news in the showbiz capitol and Condor was taking the heat for it. She seemed to have garnered a ton of sympathy now from people who were previously indifferent to her situation- not to mention, it had renewed Nico, Grady, and Zora's motivation to refuse to film until she was back on set. Nico's father had even come down to the studio the past few days, holding several meetings with Condor, presumably regarding the potential legal ramifications. So now the media was lambasting Condor with questions regarding her absence from the show, if it was his call, was it discrimination? Was this an opportunity to teach America's children a valuable lesson about tolerance? Or was it the time to purge Hollywood of sinful heathens like Miss Hart? The topic was hotly debated all over the town. Tawni was _the_ person everyone was talking about. Although she hadn't seemed to enjoy the attention as much as she'd always expected- which didn't surprise Sonny, but Tawni herself was quite distraught at the fact.

"Sonny?" Chad asked, approaching from behind.

"Hey, Chad," she turned to greet him, concealing the fact that he'd startled her a bit.

"What are you doing over here at the Falls?"

"I wanted to talk with you about something," she said, lowering her voice. "Something private."

He nodded, not quite sure what she was alluding to. Chad Dylan Cooper never had been the brightest crayon in the box. They moved to a corner of the room that offered a little privacy- at least, as much as could be expected on the set of a TV show in the middle of the work week.

"How's Tawni doing?" he asked.

"Fine, I guess," Sonny shrugged. "I haven't seen her since the hospital. That was almost a week ago. I talked to her on the phone for a little bit last night. She mentioned something about maybe coming by the set today. She's just been at her uncle's, trying to keep a low profile- never thought I'd say that about Tawni, but she is."

"Right, well, being me, I haven't had the time or motivation to actually read any of the stories printed about what happened, so I'm still not entirely sure-"

"She was jumped, right outside the studio. By some of those jerks picketing out front. They took her keys and her purse. She's fine though. Bruised pretty badly, but nothing broken. I was surprised because she looked..."

"I saw some pictures," he nodded. "So... what did you want to talk about then?"

"Well, I... I think I need to, you know, come out," she said, glancing around nervously, hoping no one had heard her.

"You don't seem like you're really up for that," Chad smirked, noting her contradictory behavior.

"I'm scared," she replied. "But I think I need to. I mean, Tawni's taking all this heat on her own and it's not fair. She's not the only one of us. And I just... my mom has been pushing me so hard not to do it because she doesn't want me to ruin my career before it even really starts..."

"And she doesn't want you to get jumped- or worse- in a dark alley like Tawni."

"Yeah, that too," she agreed. "I'm not good at keep secrets. I like to be upfront and honest. That's who I am. I don't want to spend years pretending to be something I'm not until I get so comfortable lying that it just becomes second nature. I don't want to get comfortable and never come out. That won't work. I know it won't. I can't be happy that way. It would be fine for awhile, but sooner or later...I mean, when I was with Lucy, it was easy to keep secret because she lived in Wisconsin. But in the future when I meet that special someone... I want to be able to go out with them. I want to be able to hold hands and kiss and not have it be front-page news."

"Out or not, it could still be front-page news," he shrugged.

"Yeah, but not for long. It will get old fast. I mean, no one pays special attention if Ellen DeGeneres is out with her wife. There's paparazzi, obviously, but not loads. Because it's not anything newsworthy now. It's just...accepted."

"She established herself before she came out, though."

"I know, but I can't wait that long. And you know what? There are kids out there who need good role models like us. There are millions of gay kids and they don't have anyone our age to look up to."

"Ok, well, then do it. I'm missing what you needed to talk to me for?"

"I just wanted to know your thoughts on it," she said. "Tawni's out. I'm... I'm going to be. And you...?"

"I'm staying in," he shrugged. "In addition to being the greatest actor of my generation, a lot of my success relies on making teen girls swoon. I'm less swoon-worthy if they know I'd rather screw their brothers. Maybe someday. _Hopefully_ someday. But not now. I have too much to lose."

"Do you think I have too much to lose?"

"No. You're just a Random," he grinned. "You can only go up from there."

She rolled her eyes and laughed. "Thanks, Chad."

"For the record, when reporters flock to me as your ex-boyfriend, I had no idea you were gay and will be completely shocked by your statement," he added with a wink.

"Of course," she smiled.

* * *

Tawni had gone to People Magazine, deeming Tween Weekly an inappropriate outlet since it targeted kids. Sonny, however, decided that Tween Weekly was the perfect venue. That was her audience, after all, those were her fans. Between a statement she had spent hours trying to write, only to toss it out and speak plainly, and a post on Flitter, she told them all.

Her statement to Tween Weekly was published almost immediately on the website and was already being compiled as the front-page story for the next print issue. "I've spent a lot of time considering whether or not it was a good idea to share this with the public, but after all my friend and costar has been through in the past couple weeks, it just seemed pointless to keep pretending. So, yes, I'm gay. Sonny Munroe is a lesbian."

From Flitter: "I'm a dyke to watch out for."

Much like it had when Tawni had come out, Sonny's phone started ringing off the hook near instantaneously. Unlike Tawni, Sonny just turned it off.

* * *

Tawni sat in her dressing room alone, smiling at the huge pile of fanmail that had accumulated in her absence. One envelope, a bright pink one, caught her eyes first- it was positioned on her vanity, rather than in the mound on the floor. If anything could make her feel better, fanmail would be it. She had spent a lonely week out at her uncle's. She had, in the last couple days, managed to have a handful of girl's over- she was still bruised up, but they were fading. She was a fast healer. Harts were strong. But it just wasn't the same. She got what she wanted and then wanted them gone and, as always, they would try and linger and she was getting tired of it. What was it with women always wanting a relationship out of you? she mused, thinking of Sonny.

She snatched up the pink envelope on her vanity and ripped it open. Before she had a chance to read the letter, Nico and Grady came barging into the room. "Sonny?"

"She's not here," Tawni said, standing up from her chair.

"Oh, hey, Tawni, how are you doing?" Grady asked, seeming genuinely concerned.

"We get to keep our jobs!" Nico blurted out. "My dad spent hours with Condor, going over all kinds of legal stuff, and I don't know what he did, but we're safe. He can't fire us."

"Well, at least not for this," Grady corrected.

"Well, yeah, I meant that," Nico nodded. "Obviously."

"Great!" Marshall stormed into the room then as well. "Now Sonny is out too."

"What?" Nico and Grady turned to him, confused, and he shoved a page he'd printed from the internet.

"Oh, yeah, well, every one knew Sonny was gay, didn't they?" Grady asked.

"Condor can't fire us for this. And he can't fire Tawni," Nico said, slapping Marshall on the back.

"Yeah, yeah," Marshall shook his head. "You kids just don't get it. I mean, after what happened..." his voice trailed off as he gestured toward Tawni. "Maybe Condor won't fire you for it, but that doesn't mean the world is going to be any nicer about this."

"Dude, why do you always got to rain on our parade?"

"Just get to work!" Marshall snapped, turning to Tawni. "And you start back on Monday."

She grinned and, in spite of herself, actually high-fived Grady when he offered up his hand.

The boys followed Marshall out of the room, and Tawni sat back down, returning her attention to the letter.

_Dear Tawni,_

_You have always been someone I looked up to as an actress. But now you're someone I can look up to as a person as well. I've been having a really hard time lately, but when I found out that you were gay- that someone so successful and beautiful and talented was just like me. It changed me. I don't quite know how. And it hasn't been easy for me, at all. But I've been too moved by your courage in the face of such adversity not to come out myself and own who I am the way you do. I know you aren't the nicest person in the world. I know you aren't perfect- and I know that, deep down, you know that too. But you are braver than most and your honesty, if sometimes brutal, is inspiring. I know I might not have made my life any easier by doing this, but somehow I know this is one decision I will never regret. Thank you.  
_

_Sincerely,_

_Eric Doesntexistowitz_

A slow smile formed on her lips as the image of Sonny with the weird beard and both her arms in casts formed in her head. After the hospital, she hadn't seen or heard from Sonny for several days, though she had almost called her up on numerous occasions. Sonny finally called her the night before and it was an awkward conversation. Sonny was obviously still a little upset over what had happened between them, but not enough to avoid calling any longer. And Tawni was alarmed with herself for feeling as excited as she did when Sonny called. If anything, Sonny should be ecstatic because Tawni calls her, not the other way around. That's whole thing was ridiculous. Sonny was just another girl that wanted to linger, only Tawni didn't mind her lingering so much. She hadn't rushed Sonny out after they slept together. Why would she? Sonny was a friend. A friend that Tawni found herself increasingly unable to get out of her head, a friend whom she still felt guilty for hurting, a friend that she thought of every time she couldn't get one of those other girls to leave, and the only one she thought of when they finally did. And worst of all, with the last two girls at least, she had actually found herself distracted and thinking of Sonny right in the middle of it! It was clearly Sonny's fault these last several sexual encounters- all with girl's who were fantastically beautiful and experienced- had been so... unsatisfying. And that was insane because, well, it was just Sonny, right?

As if on cue, the dark-haired girl entered the dressing room then, from her entrance on the opposite side.

Tawni took a deep breath, breaking from her tumultuous internal thought-process, and turned around, half-smiling. "Hey, Eric."


	15. Now I Set You Free

**A/N**: So this is the final chapter of this fic, though perhaps not the end of the story. I'm quite tempted to do a sequel to this. Still need to work out an actual plot outline though, so I don't write myself into a corner. Anything in particular anyone wants to see? I'll consider any and all suggestions and ideas, and will, of course, give credit where credit is due. So if you have something you'd be interested in me exploring with my versions of these characters (that you don't plan on writing your own fic about, obviously), just let me know in a review or PM and it might make it into the next installment. Thanks to everyone who has reviews, especially those of you who went above and beyond and reviewed multiple chapters throughout! Thank you!

**Chapter Fifteen: Now I Set You Free  
**

Sonny smiled at the blonde holding up her letter. "And to think he didn't even give you a shout-out last time he wrote."

Tawni nodded, tossing the letter back on her vanity and getting to her feet.

"So," Sonny continued, a little awkwardly. "How are you feeling?"

"Better. Still a little sore in some spots, but not bad," she crossed her arms. "Why'd you write me a letter?"

"What?"

"The letter. Why'd you write it?"

"To thank you," Sonny replied, hesitant. "I don't know how long I would've stayed in the closet if it weren't for you."

"Just took me getting beat to a pulp for you to think 'awesome, I gotta get me in on that!"

"No," Sonny scowled. "It just... wait, you said you wouldn't take it back even after everything-"

"I wouldn't," Tawni affirmed.

"Then why are you-"

"Why didn't you just tell me in person?"

"Because things have been...weird."

"So writing to me under the guise of your own fake fan makes it normal?"

"It's all compliments, you know, why are you making a fuss over being complimented?"

"It's a lie," Tawni replied, her voice rising. She was getting angry, in spite of her best efforts not to. She wanted things to be as they were and starting another fight wasn't going to help that.

"Because it's from Eric? That was just a joke. Which you got, obviously. Why are you doing this?" Sonny asked, completely at a loss as to why her peace offering was being handled this way.

Tawni snatched the letter back off her vanity and held it up. "You look up to me? My coming out 'changed you'?"

"Yes, I mean... not in everything, obviously. Sometimes you're really just a bitch. Like now," Sonny replied bitterly. "But I never even considered coming out until you did. I wasn't brave enough. And I thought you were crazy for doing it. But still...it made me...Look, Tawni, you aren't... there's a lot of things about you I don't like, but I'm starting to understand..."

"Understand what? And you 'know I'm not perfect'? And you 'know that I know that too'? No you don't. You have no idea what I know. You have no idea how arrogant I really am."

Sonny half-laughed. "If you're calling it arrogance than you probably are aware of it not being true. If you thought it was valid, you'd just call it confidence."

"Sonny-"

"Why are you acting this way? I just wanted to thank you for helping me, whether you meant to or not. I don't think you're perfect, Tawni. And I think you'd agree if you weren't so set on disagreeing with me. It doesn't matter anyway."

"Yes it matters!" Tawni yelled, attempting to throw the letter at Sonny. But being paper, it just fluttered to the floor. "It matters!"

"Why?"

"Because you've ruined everything!"

"What are you talking about?"

"You-I had a good life until you came along. I was happy. Now it's all ruined and I'm miserable."

"I'm sorry? I won't ever thank you for anything again?" Sonny offered, utterly perplexed.

"You with your stupid rainbows and cheddar-dust and open-ness."

"Tawni, what are you-"

"Ruined. Completely. It's just...it was my favorite thing. It was basically my only hobby besides looking at myself in the mirror- which I haven't been able to do much these last couple weeks anyone since people keep trying to smash my face in. But there was still the sex. And all the pretty girls. But you," she hissed. "You couldn't just leave well enough alone. You had to meddle in that too."

"I have no idea what-"

"Sex! You ruined sex for me!"

"WHAT?"

"I can't do it anymore. I mean, I _can_, obviously, but it's not the same!" Tawni snapped. "You know what I was thinking about when I was with this girl last night- she was super hot, too, a redhead, with blue eyes and big, pouty lips. She was so completely hot. Way, way hotter than you. Ten times hotter than you. But you know what I was thinking about when I was with her? You, Sonny. I was fucking thinking about you."

Sonny tilted her head to the side, a slow smile growing on her face. "Really now?"

"Don't look so smug about it," Tawni growled. "You took the only thing I had left from me."

"I can't control your thoughts."

"Fuck you."

"What do you want me to do about it, Tawni?"

Tawni just glowered at her from across the room, arms crossed.

Sonny shrugged. "Was I better than you expected, then?"

"No," Tawni answered quickly. Too quickly.

"You enjoyed it more than you expected though."

"I always enjoy sex," she countered with a sneer. "Or I did. Until you ruined it."

"You've got a crush on me," Sonny said, beaming at this point.

"Shut up, I don't-"

"You want to have sex again?'

"Yes."

"Well, I don't do casual sex, Tawni. Tried it once. Definitely not my thing."

"I don't do girlfriends," Tawni mumbled her reply.

"Then I guess we've got a stalemate."

"If I was your girlfriend, could I still sleep with other girls?"

"What? No! Besides,you just said-"

"I know what I said!"

"We already did it your way," Sonny said, stepping closer to the blonde. "I think we should give it a try my way now."

"Maybe." There were few things Tawni hated more than Sonny being right about anything.

"Pick me up at 7 then," Sonny said with a smirk before slipping out the door.

* * *

"This is ridiculous," Tawni muttered to herself as she raised her fist to knock on Sonny's apartment door. _She should be picking me up, at the very least._

Connie opened the door, looking particularly displeased. "Tawni," she said though slightly clenched teeth, greeting her with a nod.

"Hey," Tawni replied.

"Hey Tawni!" Sonny's head popped out of her room. "Just a second."

Tawni nodded, stepping in. She hovered near the door, holding her purse in front of her, looking at Sonny's mother on the couch. The woman was eyeing her angrily.

"You could at least try and look like you're actually into this, like it's more than just a means to an end for you," Connie quipped.

"I'm _not_ excited about it," Tawni turned back to her. "But I do care about Sonny. That's the problem here."

"No, the problem is that she cares about you," Connie argued. "That's what's ruining everything. I swear to God, Tawni, if something happens to her-"

"Don't worry, I'm not going to get her pregnant," Tawni replied with an eye roll.

"That's not what I mean," Connie hissed, grabbing her by the arm. "I didn't want her to come out because I don't want her to get hurt, OK? And she wouldn't have if it wasn't for you. Now I know it isn't fair, but that's life and that's the way it is right now. She's my daughter and it's my job to protect her and if anything happens to her like what happened to you last week, or worse... believe me, I'm going to hold you accountable."

"This was Sonny's choice, it's not my responsibility."

"I don't care, Tawni," she shrugged. "I want her safe. That's it. And you've made that a whole lot harder for me."

Sonny came out of her room then, donning a black dress and a dark denim jacket. "Ok, so, where are we going?"

"A fabulous restaurant in Beverly Hills," Tawni replied, as though it was obvious.

"Will there be a lot of people there?" Connie asked nervously.

"Yes, probably," Tawni said. "I have a reservation though, so no worries."

"That's not what she meant," Sonny said, frowning at her mother.

"Oh. I never seem to get what she means," Tawni mused, turning and opening the door. "Let's go."

Her smile instantly restored, Sonny happily walked through the door.

"Be back by ten!' Connie called after them.

* * *

After dinner at Tawni's favorite restaurant, being stalked by God knows how many paparazzi, and a lengthy debate about who should pay for their meal- Tawni was still bitter about having to do the 'picking up', so they ended up splitting the tab- they went for a drive along the coast, until Zora's voice started rumbling about fossil fuels in the back of Sonny's head, at which point they headed back to Sonny's place. There were paparazzi waiting outside and a doorman let them in the back entrance.

Pulling out her keys, Sonny unlocked the door to her apartment. "So, I had a really great time tonight."

"It wasn't too bad," Tawni conceded, attempting to follow Sonny in.

The dark-haired girl blocked her from entering. "I'll call you."

"Huh?"

"Good night," Sonny said, beginning to shut the door.

"Wait, wait," Tawni's hand shot out to prevent the door from closing. "Um, can't I come in?"

"It's late," Sonny shook her head. "I was supposed to be back an hour ago."

"Yeah, but..."

"We're doing this my way, remember?"

"Right. So we went on a date."

"I don't put out on the first date."

"I- wha? but we already-"

"So I'll call you," Sonny smiled, leaning forward and giving a stunned Tawni a quick peck on the cheek before shutting the door.

**The end** (ish)


End file.
